Ballerina with Blades

Chapter III

"All the way from Paris. I had them specially made for you. See? The inner is lined with cotton, so no blisters and a cushion for no sore feet..."

I smile at the memory while holding onto the ice skates I have only worn once. More than a year ago at the Olympics. She would have been so proud. She had them specially made for me for the big day. The biggest event of my life. I wore them with pride, squaring my shoulders and gliding on the ice.

Whispers of awe followed me everywhere, all eyes were on my feet and the whole attire worked. My ice skates were designed to match my leotard, my inspiration coming from the movie, Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman. My moves and routine were just as frighteningly dangerous as the thrilling effect of the movie.

The only difference between the Black Swan character and me, is that I was the more dangerous one, the stronger one, for I am the Ballerina with Blades. I had taken ballet lessons whilst training to be an Ice Dancer, to improve my skill, strengthening myself in all possible ways. That is how I became the best. I put the most effort into everything I did.

Mum was always so, so proud of me. I would do anything to have that again. Today, though, Henry gave me that. My longing for that feeling could be back. I can have that hope again, this time it would be my cousin who would be giving it. He has always only seen the bigger picture, and that all for me.

I am selfish. I did not try to see his point. Now that I had a piece of it...I want more. Best of all, he freely gives it. When my father received a call from him to say that he would be taking me in, to say I was surprised would be an understatement. At first, I was afraid, he was going to take me away from everything I knew but then I realized, he was actually saving me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I look up to find Henry in the doorway to my very untidy room. He gives little care how it looks in here, his only concern is the inhabitant. "I'm just thinking of how happy she was when she showed me these the day they arrived. How everyone stared at me on the ice when I wore them." I'm still smiling at the memory and I myself can't believe that I am capable of smiling, even when it reminds me of everything that happened.

These are the same blades I used to slice through the man who took her from me. A gruesome sight, it was. Nothing I ever thought I was capable of. But then again, I kept surprising myself during the last year and a half. From dancer to fighter in an instant. It came like second nature to me.

"You want me to come with you?" Henry probably thinks that I might collapse on my own. I'm stronger than he thinks but I will need his support. "Yeah. Just in case." He nods his head in thought. He's more of a big brother than a cousin, really. I'm glad I have him.

It takes us about twenty minutes to get to the skating rink. It's a sunny day outside but on the inside of this building it is quite the opposite. White lights shining on the cold hard surface of an old acquaintance. The white letters on a blue board on the front of the building is bright under the shining sun, reading 'Appleby Ice Centre'. 

Henry comes up to my side and tips his head to the entrance. I take a deep breath before finally moving forward. This is harder than I thought, and I'm not even inside yet. I feel the sudden heat from Henry's hand when he takes mine, squeezing it lightly. He probably senses the dread coming off of me in waves.

Once inside, the familiarity of it all comes crashing into me. The lighting of the place, the crisp white shine of the ice, the cold, the smell, everything. I take another deep breath and shudder at the memories that flood me. All of them are of my winnings and her cheering in the stands. Her voice being the loudest.

"It's okay." Henry says softly, his voice calm. I let go of his hand, deciding to take a little tour. Bringing back old feelings to spur up the memory in my body. I reach the boards built around the ice, the only thing between us. Making my way around to the benches where the door is already open. An invitation.