CONSUME CONTENT, BUT DON'T LET IT CONSUME YOU

Part 1: The workplace became an extension of yourself

As a 25 year old, my social circle is composed of a spectrum of 50-year-olds, to 20-year-olds, from Gen X to Gen Z. Every friendship and bond that I've created with each person is unique to their qualities, interests, dynamics, and vulnerability. I don't want to generalize by categorizing someone to a generation, since at the end, we all enjoy the company of one another. But one thing that I've noticed these days, is how we have all become heavy users of the digital reality, and how for some is just a tool, and for others, it's their life. The behavior people have with phones and social media is one that has been raising my concerns, since as we have all heard at least once: "what bothers you about somebody is what you hate about yourself." This thought forced me to delete TikTok twice, regulate what I post on Instagram, and keep my phone in my bag when hanging out with people. My annoyance regarding unconscious phone etiquette, brought me to the point in which I'd like to sit and reflect on these attitudes and how they make me feel.

I'd like to begin drawing the effect of connectivity in our lives by using my father as an example. My father is a fifty-year-old business man who is in a constant defensive shark-attack mode when making deals. He was brought up in an old-fashioned big boss energy. Don't get me wrong, he's one of the sweetest man anyone could meet, very much in touch with his feelings and showing love and care in a social scenario, only when phones are hidden. His day-to-day life is based on making and receiving international calls, responding to emails, while traveling with my mother, who despises listening to him raise his voice over the phone and spend most of the time behind a screen. Once his day is over, at around two in the morning (when in Europe), he can finally rest by scrolling through EBay looking for car parts or construction materials before falling asleep. This deep internet dives for shopping purposes, is a behavior I remember seeing in him since I was ten years-old, and as its been proven, old habits die hard. I really cannot understand how looking at different types of engines gives him the dopamine he needs, but apparently, he enjoys it, and who am I to deprive someone of joy? But is it a joyful moment, or is it a way to kill boredom and avoid intimacy? Isn't spending time behind a screen a form of boredom? Or can it be productive? How can we measure that? Right now, you are reading this, but is reading productive? Do we need to be productive?

That is exactly how I see workaholics have a bad phone etiquette. The hyper awareness of needing to be productive and getting things done, gets them stuck in a toxic relationship with their phones, affecting their home life and mental health. The anxiety behind feeling useless that drives people into creating deals, products, and services, isn't one driven by ambition or vocation, is one driven by anxiety. So if we are creating through anxiety, aren't we consequently creating useless shit? I'm not saying in any possible way that getting things done with ambition or talent isn't stressful, but at least what it comes out of it probably comes from a place of ease and intention, thus the result will be positive and well-received.

We could not live in a functioning society without communication, and phones and social media have made communicating much easier and immediate. A few years back, a working person would go into the office by day and when the job shift was over, then home would feel like a place to rest. But now, the immediacy of phones and internet, make the home a working space as well. Even at a bar, or a restaurant, in the middle of a date, you can get a message from your boss regarding some pending tasks, making you miss out on an intimate moment. The internet has turned us into hyper-available beings, making it mandatory to respond to that message because everyone has their phones at an arm distance. If there is no response, feelings can get hurt, or your career can be at risk. This dependency, availability, and grind or die culture, has us missing out on real human experiences that make us feel connected to ourselves and the present. We have mistaken to live the "now" as a verb, rather than a noun.

Answering calls, texts, and emails, pays the bills, vacations, and any extra spending that may make someone's life happier. But is this hyper availability a responsible behavior to our mental health, our relationships, home life, and social dynamics? What is the responsible way to prioritize what is best for us? We need housing and food, so we need to be attentive of our phones, thus, we need to establish a set of boundaries in order to create a healthy relationship with work, our time, and our phones.