Change of Heart

Chapter Five: Amour? Amour.

Chapter Five.

They bounced down the road alone together in the jeep, Jacks ever mindful of the precious cargo she carried and focused on avoiding potholes at all costs. Tom had gone into his pensive pose again, his arm resting on the door his hand on his face. He wore sunglasses and his UNICEF cap at jacks' insistence, and now he looked very much the part of incognito movie star. She glanced over at him, deep in thought, quiet, he had all the symptoms of an overwhelmed volunteer. She reached over and took his free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He was startled by the gesture, but immediately comforted.

"You have to tell us if it feels like too much."

"It's only the first day. I must be jet lagged or something."

"It is a harsh reality, Tom, you would have to be heartless not to feel it."

"But I have a feeling I haven't seen the worst of it yet."

"Not by a long shot. Promise me you'll talk to someone about what your feeling...someone other than Luke?

"I promise to talk to you about what I'm feeling, how's that?"

"Perfect." She grinned at the road ahead of them and loosened her grip on his hand. She didnt see the offended look that crossed his face momentarily at her lightened touch, but she felt a knot of excitement form in her stomach as he intertwined their fingers together. She fought desperately not to blush, the atmosphere seemed to get a few degrees hotter. "So tell me about it."

"It's just hit me, like a brick in the face how serious this s. I mean I'm all giddy and keyed up like a five year old child to come here, and then I get here and come face to face with actual children who are basically...."

"Dying?"

He paused and sighed and looked over at her profile.

"Yeah. It's not right, is it? I thought I was coming with no expectations but I also thought I somehow knew what to expect...then I walked into the hospital and I met eyes with this little girl...."

His voice trailed off and he looked away again before loudly clearing his throat and sighing. Jacks completely understood.

"Go on, Tom."

"She saw me, and she stared at me, but she couldn't speak to me or wave to me, it was heartbreaking, in a word, it was heart breaking. I went on and tasted the plumpy nut stuff and listened about the machines and the work of the doctors and nurses and all of it, but her eyes have been with me all day. Then the babies..."

"I know," she caught herself before a pet name like honey or sweetheart slipped out of her mouth. She had to remember herself and her job where Tom was concerned. "But believe it or not that's good. When I first got here I worked in a hospital just like that and I went home in tears every night. But I got to see most of those children get stronger and stronger everyday because of tireless work by people like you."

"Like me, yeah sure, I''m here for a week."

He scoffed, she smiled.

"You care Tom. Nobody who comes here to do this, even for a week, is indifferent. You care, and caring is the beginning of everything."

He remained quiet for the ride, but also maintained his hold on her hand. She broke it as she pulled the jeep to a stop in front of a line of shacks and food cart like structures. The market was very haphazard, it looked like a bazaar or flea market, people set up tables and tents to sell their goods. A gleam of interest returned to Tom's eyes as he climbed out of the jeep. Jacks beckoned for him to follow her into one of the shacks. All sorts of things lined the wall, Tom's curiosity got the better of him, he started to wander off, Jacks grabbed his wrist.