a place in this world

prologue

It was a cold and rainy September day in Seattle, Washington. Charlotte had just come back from a long day at school and was now lounging in her living room, watching Miss Americana while playing a game on her phone and eating Oreos simultaneously. She has had a long day at school; the people that were supposed to be her friends had been turning on her lately, her math teacher announced to the class that they'll be having yet another test tomorrow, her crush asked someone else out after school, and her grades in two of her classes were plummeting thanks to the tests from last week. Life felt hopeless for her, like she was stuck in a cycle of bad events and she'd never be able to get out.

"This is why you keep gaining weight," Charlotte's mother, Lindsey, walked in with a laundry basket in her hands. "Have you done your homework?" She asked her daughter as she headed to the laundry room.

"I'll do it later," Charlotte mumbled and turned her attention back onto the TV screen from her phone. She wasn't sure if she was more frustrated about the constant pestering about academics or the body shaming that never stopped.

"How did you do on your tests from last week?" Lindsey kept speaking to her from the laundry room.

"I don't know, I haven't checked yet," Charlotte lied to her mother to avoid getting yelled at about her grades again. She was disappointed in herself and she knew that any more reminders of her grades would cause her to break down crying in front of her mother. That was one thing she wanted to avoid; she hated crying in front of people.

Lucky for Charlotte, her mother had dropped the subject and gone back upstairs to her room. Charlotte focused her attention on her favorite person's documentary to take her mind off of the harsh reality that is her life.

I wish Taylor was my mom or my sister. Maybe I wouldn't hate my life so much.

Charlotte often had thoughts like this. Her daydreams were usually about meeting Taylor Swift or about having Taylor Swift as her best friend, sister, or mother. She daydreams often to escape reality and ends up spending hours in her own world. It's become one of her coping mechanisms. The healthiest one that she has.

"Charlotte! Come upstairs!" Lindsey called for her daughter from her room. After a not-so-great day and the comment from her mother earlier, Charlotte was already feeling annoyed by her. However, she didn't want to upset her mother so she rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before pausing the documentary and heading upstairs.

"Yes mom?" Charlotte entered her mother's room, where Lindsey was in bed and holding her phone out for her daughter to take.

"Someone's on the phone for you," She said with a tiny hint of smile on her face. It scared Charlotte a little bit but she ignored her suspicions and took the phone from her mother's hand.

"Hello?" Charlotte confusedly said into the phone.

"Hi! Is this Charlotte Sullivan?" A lady asked Charlotte. The voice was new yet so familiar. She couldn't quite pinpoint who the voice belonged to though.

"Yes," Charlotte sat down on the edge of her mother's bed, unsure of what to expect.

"Hi, it's Taylor Swift!" Charlotte's first thought was, this has to be a prank. However, this lady that claimed to be someone she looked up to seemed to know about what she did a few weeks ago. "I got to watch a lot of amazing dancers at the audition the other day but you really stood out to me and I'd love for you to join me on tour."

"Wait, what?" Charlotte screamed and jumped up from the bed. Taylor laughed at the teenage girl's excitement and shock, and waited patiently until she was able to process what the singer had just told her. "Is this a prank? Or am I dreaming right now? This can't be real. What?" Charlotte was now pacing back and forth in Lindsey's room, trying to calm herself down.

"You are so cute," Taylor said, laughing again, already excited to meet the girl in person next week at their first rehearsal. "What do you say? Will you come on tour with me?" The singer asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be based on Charlotte's current state.

"Of course! Yes! 113 thousand times yes!" Charlotte was now on the floor, holding her head in her hands in shock.

"Yay! I'll see you next week at our very first rehearsal! You should be getting an email soon with all the details." Taylor informed the teenager.

"Thank you so much for this opportunity. I'll see you soon!" Charlotte said before hanging up the phone. After double checking that she had actually hung up, Charlotte threw the phone onto her mother's bed and started screaming. "Taylor Swift just called me! I'm going on tour with my favorite person in the world! What is life?" The teen was full of excitement and happiness. It felt like anything was possible in this moment. Her dream was coming true.

"Wow, it's great to know that your favorite person is not me," Lindsey said disappointedly, making her daughter stop jumping and twirling in her room.

"Mom, I didn't mean it like that," Charlotte's smile faded away instantly, guilt taking over all the joy she felt a second ago.

"No, it's okay. I know I will never be as good as Taylor Swift." Lindsey dramatically sighed and shook her head, looking down at her phone to avoid looking at her daughter.

"I'm sorry," Charlotte walked over to the side of her mother's bed. "You're an amazing mom. I love you." Charlotte wrapped her arms around her mother for a hug, just to be ignored. Lindsey acted as if her daughter wasn't there as she continued texting her friend about some shopping ad she had seen the other day.

With there being nothing else Charlotte could do in this moment, she slowly walked out of her mother's room and went to her own room. Once she got there, she threw herself onto her bed and let the tears she was holding back finally fall. She wished she could take back what she said. Her mother has done everything for her and yet she said something that hurt her.

Why did you say that? You're so ungrateful and mean. This is why no one likes you.

The voice in her head was now scolding her, reminding her of why she was unlovable.

As Charlotte was about to go lock herself in the bathroom to do what she's always done to punish herself and distract herself from the emotional pain, she saw a notification appear on her phone.

Unknown number
Hey Charlotte! It's Taylor again. I just wanted to text you so you have my number😊 The email should be sent to you now. I can't wait to meet you soon!

She could not believe that someone she's looked up to for so long and someone she never thought she'd get to meet was now texting her. The world famous pop star knew who she was and trusted her enough to text her from her number. Not wanting to make the singer wait too long for a response, Charlotte quickly texted back that she just saved her number and that she couldn't wait to meet her as well. After rereading the text 13 times to make sure there weren't any errors and finally hitting send, Charlotte turned her phone off and forced herself to go downstairs so she wouldn't overthink and worry nonstop about the text that she had just sent to her favorite person.

Today is not real.

The teen thought to herself before laying down on her couch and pulling a blanket over her to take a nap.