a place in this world

wild and crazy

On our walk to the room, Taylor and I agreed that we both needed a shower after today; it was a hot day and we were all very sweaty. She told me to shower first since she needed to call someone, so that's exactly what I did.

We set our things down and went our separate ways, me to the bathroom and Taylor to the bedroom. She had booked all of us a one bedroom suite so our room was really big — definitely the biggest hotel room I've ever stayed in.

I quickly got in the shower, not bothering to put music on like I usually do out of fear that Taylor's songs were going to come on and I was going to make her feel weird. I love taking long showers — around 30 minutes to an hour — but I did it in ten minutes today to avoid making Taylor wait. She was probably tired and I didn't want to be the reason she couldn't go to sleep until much later than she had planned.

I brushed my teeth after putting my pjs on, and wrapped my hair in a towel before heading out of the bathroom. Taylor was sitting on her phone in bed but looked up when she heard me walk in. I wasn't sure if she wanted the bed to herself so I stood there awkwardly, unsure of where to go.

Thankfully, she noticed and patted the spot next to her as she smiled. I grabbed my phone charger on my way and got in bed next to her, being careful not to do anything clumsy.

"Can we take a .5 together? I'm sending a photo dump to my mom and I want one in this hotel room." I asked her, slightly nervous of how she was going to react. I feared rejection. Even just the thought of hearing Taylor say no was terrifying. I also didn't want her to think I was being annoying or not respecting her privacy, because that wasn't my intention at all.

"Of course!" She said excitedly and scooted closer to me, immediately putting a stop to my overthinking brain.

We checked the picture to make sure it turned out cute, which it did. I felt a sense of relief when Taylor asked me to send her the picture as well, this being a very subtle confirmation to me that she didn't find this interaction annoying. Maybe I was being delusional but I was okay with gaslighting myself into thinking that for now.

After Taylor went off to the bathroom to go take a shower, I opened my camera roll and selected pictures from today. There were so many and it was so hard to narrow it down to only 20, but I eventually did it and sent them all to my mom. There were a variety of pictures ranging from group photos to pictures taken on the roller coaster to candid photos.

My mom replied not long after, first reacting with a heart to the pictures and then telling me that the pictures were cute. She told me that she was glad I was having fun, and also touched on the fact that I was sharing a room with Taylor Swift. Seeing her write this made me freak out all over again. I couldn't believe that this was real life.

I had gotten quite a few texts from my friends throughout the day asking me what on earth I was going with Taylor. I wasn't sure how much I could say at the moment, so I decided to wait until Taylor was back.

I went on Twitter like I always do at night to see what was happening today on stan twitter. This app was where I went to for the latest updates on my favorite celebrities and that's why I will never be able to delete Twitter; I get too scared about possibly missing something and as someone with fomo, that was unacceptable.

As expected, pictures from today were posted all over my timeline, people speculating on what Taylor could be planning. A lot of people seemed to be thinking that we were her backup dancers for an upcoming tour, which they were right about. Some people thought we were in her music video. Very few people thought Taylor was directing another short film and that we were the actors in it.

It was so weird to me that I was seeing myself on my own timeline. It also felt so surreal that I knew a secret that most of the world didn't know about.