In the Shadows

Not you again - Chapter 2

"No. No, no, no," Declan moans as he looks in the rear-view mirror and sees who our stowaway is.

"Hello to you too," she says dryly, using her elbows to drag herself backward onto the seat. Her silky cream dress is bunched up around her hips and I can see far too much of her long, toned legs.

I ignore her and turn to face Declan.

"What do we do now?"

"Well, we can't fucking keep her. As if we weren't in enough fucking trouble." He pounds the steering wheel with both hands and speaks to Kelly in the mirror. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hitching a lift. You're the only people I could escape with that wouldn't bring me straight back."

Barking out a laugh, I wince.

"That's a big gamble, Kelly. What makes you think we'd protect you? After all this time?"

She shrugs and looks me dead in the eye. My heart thumps in my chest as long forgotten feelings and memories wash over me, followed swiftly by the anger of betrayal. It's one thing to leave me to live a better life. It's another to re-appear engaged to the biggest gangster of them all.

"I wasn't sure you would. But you're not stupid. If you bring me back, and he knows we were together, he'll kill us all and you know it."

"For fuck's sake Kelly," Declan mumbles, but then, because he's a big softie deep down he asks, "Why do you need to escape?"

She looks out the window defiantly, as if the reason she's running away and using us as her pawns is none of our business.

"Not powerful enough, Kelly? Going to disappear off for another few years of living a normal life and come back with someone even richer? Fucking hypocrite," I scoff, turning away when I see the flash of hurt in her eyes that shouldn't bother me but somehow does.

"Fuck you Conor, you don't know what you're talking about." Her voice is quiet, but she still has that unmistakable steel to her. I roll my eyes and fold my arms over my chest, refusing to be drawn into this conversation. She left me behind and it almost killed me. I do not feel any sympathy for her if her gilded life hasn't been quite the picnic she expected.

"Jesus," Declan says on a sharp intake of breath. I try not to look, but morbid curiosity gets the better of me. Kelly has lifted her dress up to her waist and I can see the mottled blue and purple bruises covering every bit of her body not exposed by her clothing. There are varying shades of blue and some yellow telling me this is not just the once incident. New bruises sit on top of old bruises. She's being hurt like this regularly.

"I'm surprised you haven't killed him," I whisper, genuinely stunned that the Kelly I know has let someone lay a finger on her more than once.

I'm never alone with him," she says, all but admitting that if she was, she'd end him. "We might be engaged, but I'm still a Fitzgerald. Still my father's daughter."

Declan turns down the lane leading to my storage unit and all conversation stops. We focus on getting this car hidden as quickly as possible, grabbing our go bags and whatever else we might need if we can't go home for an extended period. Kelly piles into the back once again and I sigh as she curls up in the seat, the grey blanket draped over her legs and closes her eyes. Trust. She has absolute trust we won't return her to that monster and, as angry as I am at her, she's right. I won't return her to that life.

Kelly

"Kelly? Come on love, let's get you inside." Declan squats down beside the open door to speak to me. I can tell he's reluctant to touch me. He stays back, giving me space to sit up before offering his hand to help me climb out. Conor's nowhere to be seen.

"You need to talk to him, Kel. The only way he got through the last few years was thinking you were free of all this. Then you turn up with the biggest criminal of them all. If I were him, I'd think you made it all up just to make sure he didn't come after you."

I don't argue with Declan because that's exactly what I did. Five years ago, I ripped my heart to pieces and left my Conor in the only way I could think of that would make certain he didn't come after me. I thought by the time I came back, and I knew I'd have to eventually, he'd be happy with someone else. Maybe I'd hoped he wouldn't still look so good either.

"This is Dad's idea, not mine. This marriage," I spit the word out, the bitter taste of this whole fucked up situation making my throat feel tight.

"I guessed," he says, steering me toward the single story, tiny cottage, tucked away on the side of a hill deep in the Wicklow mountains. As we step inside, I can hear the tap running in the only bathroom in the small property. I make my way down the corridor, trailing my fingers along the walls that hold a lifetime of memories for me. Innocent trips away when we were kids, and later as a couple, a steamy bolt hole to hide out and hide our doomed romance.

And it was doomed.

I always knew my father would never allow me to be with the man I wanted. There was too much opportunity to be gained by selling me off to the highest bidder. When he told me to end things with Conor or he would, permanently, I did what I had to do. And even though Conor hates me for it, I'd do it again tomorrow.

Pushing open the door, I blink hard when I see Conor standing there, back turned to me as he washes his cuts out and tries to tape broken fingers together with a splint.

"Turn around. Let me help."

Reluctantly, he turns and sits on the edge of the bathtub, long leg stretched out and taking up most of the space in the compact room. Forced to stand between them, I take a deep breath to steady myself, taking the tape and bandage away from him.

"You should have stayed away from here. Why would you get sucked back in after all this time, Kelly?"

His grey eyes burn into mine as I take his hand and get to work strapping his fingers. Just touching him again is like a dream come true, but I can't look at him and risk seeing the hatred I'd seen before when he'd seen me standing beside John, playing the dutiful girlfriend of the vilest man I'd ever met.

"I had no choice," I whisper with a shrug. I want to add that it was because my father had threatened Conor if I didn't do as he asked, knowing my weakness and using it against me. But there doesn't seem any point.

"Bullshit."

"I don't want to fight with you."

I'm tired. The last five years since I said goodbye to Conor have been hell. I'm a shadow of my former self. What kind of life can you live when you know one day you'll be bartered away? And when you spend every night knowing the love of your life is out there, moving on and forgetting all about you.

"No, you just want to use us to get away. Do you even give a fuck what will happen to me and Declan when John realises we're all gone?"

"Well, I'm sorry for not wanting to get beaten every day for the rest of my life!" I snap, wiping a cut on his cheekbone a little too vigorously as my temper spikes. He continues to stare at me as I concentrate on cleaning him up, afraid to let my mind wander to how good it feels to be this near. Or to how good he smells, even though he's a little roughed up. Or the think about how close my thigh is to his crotch and how easy it would be to brush against him...

"You broke my heart five years ago, Kelly, but this was worse. Because I thought you were happy away from the life but you were really just happy away from me." His smug, superior tone breaks my resolve and I get in his face, grabbing his black hair between my fingers and forcing him to look at me.

"I haven't been happy for one fucking minute since Dad forced me to leave you. They only think that kept me sane was knowing you were still breathing and getting a fresh start away from me. But don't you dare suggest that I was happy then or that I'm happy now."

I toss the wet cloth at his chest and spin away from him, suddenly overwhelmed and claustrophobic in his presence. His hand shoots out and catches my fingers, dragging me back toward him and the discussion I never intended having.