The Secret place

The Death Of Anirban

The daylight is fading.  The book is there on my study table. I look at it. The last inch of the cover has fallen upon the cover. This seems beautiful.

In Kolkata, where traffic always breaks the silence, it's only dusk that makes me happy. I remember the days when I used to stay in my home village. At least there was some greenery to hug when the pollution grabbed, here are none of them except some trees in my room.

The sun has changed its colour to red. The night will fall soon. I was going towards the wardrobe to put a jacket on my body. But I stopped on the way. My mind has gotten the clue for what I was searching for. The cover is glistening in the red light, I move towards it.

I turned on the bulb as I started re-reading the first few pages of the book which I have already read.

On Sundays, I usually go on party trips or do some office work. But this week I got absolutely nothing. I am free! And this time there is only one thing that I can do. It's going to the library. I love books they are the only true friends in this whole world of deception. Now, don't judge me as a pessimist for this. I have many good friends who help me in times of my need. I also stay by their side when needed. But truth be told, what I have understood in my life is that nothing stays stable forever, no one stays the same as they used to be beforehand. There is no true stillness in this world. Everything moves and changes so do people. It's the knowledge of the books that helps to tackle the change cause otherwise I will perish.

I was thinking about all these as I was wandering around the library. As I look around the library I can see the books which fall under the same genre I have read for the last few years. Today I want to read something different. I searched all the possible selves yet got nothing but paid attention to the erotica books. They used to be my favourite once, I used to read them every day at every possible time but as time progresses and I become an adult I lose focus on them. Soon I realised that the reason for my focus on them was not only the attention towards sexuality but loneliness.

Once you become lonely and then you try to find pleasure in something, and then that pleasure makes you more lonely, and isolated.

I passed the erotica corner as I entered the history corner. Several books are standing up on the shelves but none of them can attract me. I don't read any history books other than biographies. Once I used to read a lot of history books, it's not for the sake of my curiosity but rather because I wanted to be accepted inside society as a wise kid so that I can give lectures and talk in front of others wisely. This was my reason to read history books. But now this doesn't bother me anymore.
And that's the reason I have lost focus on them.

From all my older I have learnt that knowledge is power and accepted it but when I become older I asked "If knowledge is power then why not every educated person is powerful? Why don't most of them act like educated? Why is their backbone always bent?" 

No one was able to answer me this but I found it out later. Knowledge is potential power, it's like a weapon. Thanks, Napoleon Hill. But although I have known that much there was something for me awaiting. In the end, I found it out with my experience. In the end, I found out that although knowledge is a weapon, most of the time it is used as a dangerous weapon, just to fulfil someone's selfish wishes. And the truth is everyone uses it. We all know it yet, we don't know it. All the time we use knowledge just for the sake of our security and fulfilment. Yet we are unaware of it, cause in reality, we lie to ourselves with this weapon. So to live in this world I need to master it, or else I will perish knowingly or unknowingly.

My mind was wandering for such a long time, that I even haven't noticed that I have come to the far end of the library. This history portion consists of most of the building consisting of more than 10,000 books.

My eyes went to the rear part of the bookshelf and I noticed something that takes my attention instantly. This portion is almost dark even in this daylight. I move my hand towards the shelf and take out two books, one is new and the other one is old. The older one is the centre of my attention. Upon its cover, there is something written, at first I was unable to figure out the words. It takes me some time to understand that it doesn't come under my knowledge to figure it out. I took out my phone and opened Google Lens and scanned the book. It says that the title is written in Portuguese language and when translated it seems something like this "The secret place".

..................................

There is one tram coming towards me, I move towards the track. I take a seat on the window side as soon as I get into it. Everything was fine except for the feeling, it's a peculiar feeling. I say it is "Peculiar"  cause I haven't felt this before, and I am not even sure whether anyone has ever felt it or not. It's a kind of mixed feeling of all the chemicals in my mind. I can't describe how it feels like cause I can't remember that. I might have felt this feeling for some time but at this time something happened suddenly.

A bus loses its track and comes toward the tram. It happens so suddenly that I wasn't even able to understand what happened in the first place. When I finally got out of the suddenness and got to know what now just happened, all that see is the bus about 2 hands away from the tram.