The Secret place

The Daydream Of Shadows

"Can you hear me?"  a voice comes from in front.
My stairs go in front. An old man is standing in front of me. His skin is black. His sweating body is covered with a shirt and one full pant. Upon his face, there are clear shades of irritation. He again says, "Are you deaf?" 
His voice is filled with both irritation and question.

"No," I say.

"Very good," says he, "Hope you use your ears in the future."  now I can see his face filled with irritation.

"I am sorry," I say although I don't know if I have made any mistakes or not.

"In our times, we used to pay respect to our elders when they came in our way by talking with them in a voice filled with dignity. And you don't even bother to give us any space. Oh God, really this is Kaliyug, how can I expect any such thing from these youngsters who are the harvest of this time?"  he sighed. His stairs moved in front. And now his irritation turned into anger. He might be expecting me to listen to his words or at least be present in front of him. But in reality, I have long left the place and hidden myself behind the bookshelf.

"That brat!"  he says in anger and frustration.
I thought that he might do something else also to tame his anger. But to my surprise, he didn't do anything like that. Rather he stops and stands.

My action might seem arrogant and childish but if considered isn't listening to the same kind of lecture every day do nothing but exhaustion? These old people have the same sequence of telling their lecture, first, they draw all the faults we possess and then they will tell how good they were at their time and then they will end their lecture by saying, nothing can be done by you. And if they want, you will get a bonus of sighing with his last words. I am tired of it. Their words always give nothing but exhaustion. They always tell us that whatever has happened to us is entirely our fault, and we should have done something rather than sympathizing and telling what to do next. And the most interesting part is their answers also follow the same pattern. Suppose, one day you are going through the road and a car hits from in front, they will tell can't you walk with your eyes open in front. Okay alright. And now if a car hits you from behind, they will say can't you walk with your senses open? Well, this is also alright. Now if something is laid on the ground and your legs fall upon it, they will say can't you walk with your eyes on the ground? Well, well. *sighs*.  And also if something falls from the top then also they will say 'can't you walk with your eyes on the sky? "  Please elders, give us a break. We only have two eyes, at least I don't know any means to use them to see everything around. To be honest, it's better to tell how to look with these eyes, rather than blaming with all your might. Huh, but who is going to listen? They are born intelligent and know everything about us, how can this thought ever come into their mind that they can be wrong sometimes? Maybe they feel okay with it but those who are around them, make their life hell, just like he was about to make my life hell.

I was about to come away from the place and head towards the buying counter to buy the two books I have bought but something happened that made me stop.  And by the word" made me" I mean I was almost forced to stop at that place. Although this force hadn't come from outside rather than inside. Yet, its power made it stop instantly. And at this time I see something unique. I hadn't seen it in my whole life. Just when I look towards the old man I see darkness in his heart and it seems as if it is coming out of that place and grabbing his whole body mind and soul.

"Strange! " I said to myself," What is it? "

I thought that the darkness was the only thing to make me astonished. But I was wrong! There was something else also. I figure it out soon.  At first, it was seeming slow, and soft but as time progresses it grabs my attention. I become able to make out the whole thing.
Now, I can hear the voices. At first, they were seeming like whispers, but now they clearly can be identified as sound. The sound comes from an external. I said 'External' cause I hadn't this kind of sound in this word. Or maybe I say no one has heard this kind of sound. It's soft and melodious. But strangely enough, the voices I was finding before are not existing now. Yet, I can hear the story it is telling me.
The story comes in front of me like some slides of pallid shadow. I look closely towards it. As my distracted mind focuses on the point I understood, what lies at that place.
Now I am inside his heart. Here all I can see is darkness and shadows of loneliness. I move here and there to find a place to leave it, but as long as my eyes go, and as long as I can see, everywhere all that lies in the darkness. The darkness of loneliness.
This darkness is not the same which stays in my shadows and walks as an absence of light. No, this is not the kind of darkness which can be banished with a flicker of light. It's the darkness whose one flicker vanishes the light. All that comes in front of it goes away, and all that remains is darkness, eternal sorrow and despair, the world of silence. And the thing that amazes me the most is its movement.
I see darkness moving, moving like a living organism, eating the light for its food. And yeah! It spreads itself more and more as long as it can go.
This darkness is now eating the light for its food but soon the light will end, and then what? What will it eat? I ask myself.
I thought that I might not be getting the answer right now, but I was wrong, really wrong.  But now when I look back at it, I think I may not have seen it, cause its cruelty, made me feel afraid which is residing inside me even now.

I have told you before that, it's the darkness that eats light and survives,  but I understood later that it doesn't eat cause it wants to live rather it eats cause it doesn't want to let the light live. And also that's the same reason why it doesn't want to let any light alive. And to do so it doesn't want to let the living live. Cause whether we know it or not we are the creature of the world, where one flicker kills the eternal darkness, it's the world where darkness can't stay forever, cause no matter how much the darkness is, light is more powerful than it, cause the world of light, the world for la ivlivingAnd after knowing that how can the darkness let him survive? Cause as long as light resides inside him, there are always chances that it will banish the darkness. So it starts eating him as soon as all the light inside him ends. The scenario was horrible and the most terrifying of all the things I have ever seen before. I can't describe how it starts killing him from the inside. All the things that happened there, I can't remember, or to be precise I don't want to remember. My mind doesn't want to remember the pain, cause it might not be able to control it.

Now I am standing behind the bookshelf with sorrow and guilt in mind. I left him cause I don't want to talk with him. Cause what? I wanted to save my time. For what? Why did I want to save my time? What is the reason? Haven't I got enough time? Why is this voice inside me always tells that I don't have anything enough? Why? Why it always tells me I don't have love enough? Why does it tell me that I don't have money enough? Why does it always tell me that I will be happy after I get something? I am living for 21 years on this planet, have I got any time, anything that I wanted to get, the exact way I wanted it to be? Then why I don't learn my lesson and keep on the wrong path every time?

I look towards the man, he sighs and leaves the place. This might have been counted as just a sigh by all of the people, but now as I have gone inside him, I can tell, it was the beginning of the end time on this planet. The beginning of the ending.

"So he is this much lonely? " I ask myself. And an answer comes to my mind, "Yes he is!" it tells, "And you are too lonely. "

I sigh. I leave the place and move towards the stairs. I want to go downstairs, to the library counter.

I can feel the burden in my heart as I go through the corridors. The falling daylight is there on the floor. There is no scent of light, is there? I do use to know that light is a wave (or particle as you can also say) but the thing I was unaware of is that it also has smell. Now I can feel it. This thing astonishes me very much, but today it seems like my astonishment has gone down by a large number. If it was some other day, I might have googled it or at least paid much attention to this phenomenon. But now, I do none of them. I pass the corridor and leave the window. As I go far and far away the smell vanished little by little. Now it seems the scent is still there upon my nose. But I know that it isn't. All that is here is the memory of the smell. The fading smell has already gone.

But I can't pass away from one thing, it's just I can't move on through this. There are two memories of mine staying in my mind. One is the memory of the smell. I didn't use to know that we got that much vivid memory of smell. Well, it's not the memory of the smell that is chasing me, it's the other memory. It's also related to the smell. But like other memories, this is not vivid, nor it is visual. Most of the time we remember things through, the feeling we felt when the event occurred, and after that comes the visual thing and then later the details. But now, all I can gather is the feeling, there are no visual images or details. So was it just a feeling then? Well, I didn't use to know that the memory of a feeling can be so vivid. The more times I tried to remember the thing all that comes up is again the feeling.

Although the smell, fades away but the feeling goes with me as I move inside the dark passage.

Here is no light, all that lies is darkness.