Creepypasta Oneshots

The Mantle [Zalgo x M!reader]

[A/N: Sorry this took so long and short. College and life teamed up to make my life difficult rn. ]

He had been talking for hours; HOURS I TELL YOU!

Zalgo paced our living room, annoyed for one reason or another. To be completely honest I never really paid attention to his rambling. I may be his right hand man but that doesn't mean I need to listen to this everyday. Seriously, I think he makes problems to be upset about. He must have noticed my blank look because he was suddenly in front of my face.

"Are you even listening right now?" He sounded exhausted.

Jumping back to give myself space, "If I'm being honest man, I gave up listening to your whole monologue roughly half an hour ago."

"I've been talking for only two minutes-"

"It's six pm, you got back at four. You've been going since you got home. T w o hours, love."

He looked at the clock on our mantle and sighed. Ha! He knew I was right. He looked back to me and I could just tell he was about to say something that would annoy me further. He always does whenever I point out something even as minute as this. But, to be completely honest; as much as I loved his ass [I had even agreed to marry him centuries ago!] I wanted to strangle him at least once a day. Seriously, how could one creature be so exhausting.

He didn't say anything as he looked at me, only sticking his tongue out and blowing smoke from his mouth at me.

"OH fuck you!" I tried to blink the smoke from my eyes.

"Whenever you want, darling." He said with that smug ass look on his face. I know I should've expected his answer but still, I could feel my face warm and I know he saw it too. His grin turned to a full, sharp toothed smile. I could only frown at him which caused him to let out a small laugh.

"I'm sorry dude, It's just too easy to rile you up. I'll make dinner tonight if you want. Or we could order Chinese or pizza. Whatever you want."

I just can't stay mad at him. Damn him and his weird ways. I looked to the mantle again, pretending to think about his offer. Next to the clock were our wedding photos. We were laughing, at what I couldn't remember at this exact moment. Probably at the mere idea that we had finally tied the knot. Turning back to face him I leaned in as if telling a secret, "I think you should take me out to get McDonalds."

He looked surprised but still nodded and I kissed his right temple.

I started for the stairs to change into outdoor clothes but then remembered something. "Oh yeah, Don't forget to do the whole "human disguise" thing please. We don't need to scare the mortals again."

An exasperated sigh was the only answer. Gods I love him, even if there were times I considered throwing him into a pit of lava.