TW: references of self-harm
"Ryan, sweetheart, can I ask you something?" Cat's head rested on Ryan's shoulder, her fingers intertwined with his.
"Don't you dare ask me if I would love you if you were a worm." Ryan said with a smile, mostly joking.
"No, no, it's not that. Although, would you?" She had intended on asking something more serious, but now she was a little curious on what his answer would be.
"I'm.. not answering that. But for real, what were you going to ask me?" Ryan looked at her.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I was just wondering what happened to your arms..? I noticed the scars a few weeks ago." Cat picked her head off his shoulder so she could actually look at him.
"Oh. Well, y'know," Ryan started, trying to think of how to explain it simply because the truth was that it was quite complicated, "I used to struggle a lot. I didn't know how to express those struggles in a healthy way, so I started to take it out on myself." He tried to explain.
Cat took a moment to process it. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize.. but you don't do that anymore, right?" Cat squeezed his hand a little. She had to make a conscious effort to keep looking him in the eyes rather than glancing back at his arms.
"No. I mean, rarely." He said. It was hard not to lie and say that this was years ago and he hadn't thought about it in a long time. He cared too much about Cat to lie to her like that.
"Rarely? When's the last time?" Now Cat was worried. She sat up more, but kept her hand locked with his.
"Uh.. I don't know, a couple months?" Ryan actually did know. He knew the exact amount of time it had been. 5 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days. He'd been keeping track because of how much it meant to him. He was trying to be proud of himself for being clean for so long.
"I want you to know that you don't have to do that anymore. I will always be here when you need to talk. I trust that you won't continue it, but if you ever think about it then please talk to me. I don't want my favorite person to get hurt." Cat said, rubbing his hand in small circles with her thumb.
"Thank you. That means a lot." Ryan used his other hand to move a piece of Cat's hair behind her ear. He was grateful to have someone he could confide in.
"Of course. I love you." Cat smiled.
