Trapped In His Love

2-Can You Stay Tonight?

Despite the fact that he had been home when I had gotten there, I hadn't gotten so much as a glimpse of Austin. But I was also in no mood to go looking for him, and even though the awareness of the entire situation was still hanging heavily on my shoulders, I was thankful that it hadn't been necessary for me to speak to him again. I couldn't deny the fact that it was difficult for me to know that he didn't even bother to make sure that I had gotten home safe, but it was something that I knew was not in my control.

It hadn't taken long for him to leave again.

And when he did, I had been expecting it.

I had been left with no choice but to spend the evening with myself—something that happened more often than not. And that right there, was why I was comfortable making dinner in the company of myself, and I didn't feel odd eating alone either. I made sure that I only made enough pasta to make one serving, because trying to put a meal away for Austin, was going to be nothing more than a waste of time. Out of all the times that I had thought of doing it before, it had ended up being wasted, staying in the oven until the next day, when I replaced it with the next meal.

Until I just stopped doing it.

By the time that I got into bed, Austin still hadn't come home, and truthfully, I wasn't expecting it to happen any time soon. I knew better than to expect him home this evening. It was one of those things that never happened, and if they did, it would only be because he wouldn't be able to spend the evening with Simone. It was one of those things that I had come to accept, and there was nothing more to it.

It must have been ages that had passed, before I heard his car pull into the driveway. Even if he had tried to keep it quiet, I doubted that it would have been quiet enough to keep me from hearing. I was still wide awake, and I was certain that I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep any time soon—especially not at the rate that things were going.

I had gotten so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't even taken note of the fact that the front door had opened, until the bedroom door opened. I was laying with my back facing the door, and truthfully, it was something that I was thankful for. I didn't think that I was going to have the stomach to look him in the eyes, knowing that he must have spent the evening with Simone.

I followed the sound of his footsteps, and it led me to believe that he had gone straight to the bathroom, without even doing so much as trying to find out if I was still awake. My assumptions were proven to be correct when I heard the shower turn on, confirming that he had gone to the bathroom.

I let out a sigh, using my arms to push myself upright in the bed. He hadn't bothered to close the bathroom door—something that he had never done, since I had met him—and I knew that it would be best for me to get his clothes ready for him. It was something that I always did—because I was always awake whenever he got home, and even though he didn't always acknowledge it, I was certain of the fact that he was aware of it.

I put my gown on first, knowing that he would call me indecent for walking around in my pajamas. I failed to see how something like that was indecent, especially considering the fact that I was doing it in the comfort of my own home, but I wasn't going to challenge him about it either. I didn't have a lot of fighting spirit left inside of me, and truthfully speaking, I was fine with that. It was one of those things that were simply beyond my control—one again.

I got him a clean set of boxers and simply put them down on the edge of the bed, not actually wanting to go and give them to him in the bathroom. I could only imagine the discomfort that I would have to live through then, and I truthfully didn't want to be doing that.

In an effort to escape from having to face him, I decided that I would go out onto the balcony. Maybe the fresh air would do me good, and make it easier for me to fall asleep later. Maybe if my body was able to acknowledge the fact that the sun had already set, then maybe I would actually be able to sleep. Although I knew that if I fell asleep now, it would only be because Austin was back. But at least I was honest enough with myself to know that.