a second chance : stozier

4

okay, so richie did worse on this version of the final than he had last time, and this time he'd even known what was coming. so yeah, that was a little embarrassing, but any shame disappeared the moment he saw stan, still in his car, asleep like he'd found him last time.

as he opened the driver's door, the smell of weed emanating off of stanley, richie decided not to try and wake him up again. instead, he went straight to picking him up, an arm below his shoulders and one under his legs. he carried him around to the other side, struggling to open the passenger door.

"cmon, stan," richie mumbled, stan shifting to try and stay in his arms rather than sit in the car. richie couldn't really tell if he was awake.

"mm, it tasted yummy," stanley mumbled to himself, richie furrowing his eyebrows as he made his way to the other seat. he poked stanley in the side as he sat down, and watched a mostly asleep stanley pull his seatbelt down across him.

"what tasted yummy?" richie mocked him kindly, stealing the keys out of the cupholder to start the car. he watched stanley with some concern before beginning to drive. stanley smacked his lips a couple times.

"pre-roll. pink guava, mmm," stanley continued to mumble, and richie mostly didn't reply, stanley's words incoherent. "m' wanna sleep, it's all y'llow," he muttered as richie pulled into stanley's apartment complex. he remembered this from last time; he'd left stanley because stanley had asked him to.

"okay big man, you're going to walk like a normal person now, okay?" richie told stanley, backing in to park. he put his hand on the passenger seat's headrest to turn around and look out the back window. stanley's eyes were wide open now, watching him curiously. "whaaat?" richie asked, seeing stanley's stare out of the corner of his eye as he turned the car off.

stanley got to work unbuckling his seatbelt as richie opened the car door for him like a gentleman. richie felt like he was already taking stanley for granted. just having him here made richie feel so comfortable.

stanley stumbled out of the car, and richie took him by the arm. "how much did you smoke, anyway?" he used stanley's fob to buzz himself in and got the two of them into the elevator. luckily for stanley, they were alone, unluckily for richie, they were alone, and stanley was grasping his shirt so sweetly.

it was almost as if richie had forgotten he'd loved the boy this hard. but here, with stanley so close to him, smiling like a dork, he could feel his ears burning up and butterflies kicking around in his chest. he nearly forget about them preemptive grief bubbling in his gut.

"it was a lot. one thang. looooootta kief," stanley let go of his shirt, turning a little pink himself. "sorry you had to drive yourself home." stanley seemed a bit ashamed in himself suddenly, and he let go of richie's arm, too, disconnecting himself to lean against the wall. richie swallowed. was this elevator normally this slow?

"daw, it's alright stan. at least i got you to talk to me," richie had enough frame of mind to keep out the this time from his sentence, though he knew stanley might not question it. last time, he'd been dead asleep the whole time. richie had had to bridal carry him to his bed.

"oh my god i haven't even asked about your exam! how was it?!" stanley suddenly realized, pointing at richie. richie smiled in a pitiful sort of way.

"i think i must've aced it." he replied, deadpan. stanley narrowed his eyes for a moment, only to smile in celebration.

"proud of you. you're smarter than me, you know." stanley said, and (finally) the elevator door opened at his floor. stanley walked ahead of richie, though his keys were clutched in richie's hand. richie followed behind him shyly, for once.

"that's most definitely not true, but i do appreciate a humble stanley uris." richie caught up to him and got stanley's key into the lock, stanley shaking his head as richie entered first.

"no, no, you're so smart. i'm a fraud next to you," stanley walked in finally, trying to shuffle his shoes off with very little success. he gave in, sitting down on the ground to unlace them. richie watched them, his shoes already sitting on stanley's shoe rack. "do you remember when we used to strip and swim in the quarry?" stanley said suddenly.

"of course i do." richie leaned against the kitchen counter. as stanley finally got one shoe off, he looked up at richie. he blinked a couple times, swishing nothing but air around in his mouth. the face made richie laugh quietly. stanley put his focus back in his other shoe.

"i miss that sometimes. there's so much stupid innocence in nudity before puberty. i know we weren't naked, but like, we could never do that now. it's too sexual. i hate that." stanley went on, succeeding in de-shoeing his left foot. he struggled a bit to stand up but did so eventually, and immediately bee-lined for his bedroom.

"we could still do that, if you wanted. and hey, i can get naked right now if you want, too. could've just said the word," richie joked, and stanley made an 'ack!' noise, covering his eyes. he took a moment to think about what to say.

"please do not get naked. i could not handle that right now, i think." he laughed to himself, and richie followed him into his bedroom. "but like, i can't handle that because there's so much weight on it now. i miss being a child." stanley groaned as he got into bed. he started shuffling around under the covers, grunting in effort before chucking his slacks at richie's face.

"jesus! fuckin' air strike, stan," richie exclaimed, and stanley muttered something to himself ("i don't think you know what an air strike is"). "i uh, get that, though. i think, anyway." richie pulled the chair from stanley's desk to the edge of his bed. he tried to see something in stanley's eyes, something that told him what he wanted to do. what he planned on doing it.

had he planned on it? did he know he was going to die by the end of the week, or was it a spur decision?

no, he must have known. that idea made richie want to shrivel up. the stanley he was looking at right now, nearly fully asleep, a hand sticking out of the bed like he wanted richie to hold it, knew he wasn't going to survive this week.

"why'd you smoke so much?" richie prodded, and stanley exhaled through his nose sharply. his hand disappeared back beneath the blanket, and he opened his eyes again.

stanley shifted around, "i hate having roaches," he said.

"you know that's not what i meant, asshole." richie could hear stanley's voice in his own. it made him ache, that he was acting like stanley in an effort to care for him. maybe to love stanley was to understand him.

"wanted to hear the trumpets of childhood in my head. makes me less depressed about the drums of now." stanley was incomprehensible. richie wasn't sure stanley even understood the words coming out of his mouth. "g'night," was his next word.

at least it was goodnight and not goodbye, richie thought absentmindedly.