Beeduo Oneshots

Dysphoria [Trans ftm Tubbo]

Oneshot info☆ -
Characters: C!Tubbo He/him C!Ranboo he/they
Headcanon: trans ftm Tubbo is on his period, which caused him a lot of dysphoria.
Relationship: Romantic

Tws: cramps, dysphoria, nausea, descriptions of blood

Tubbo pov☆ -
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I woke up feeling extremely nauseous, my stomach hurt, and it felt like somebody had their fingers shoved against my diaphragm.

I felt a sharp pain on my lower waist, causing me to wince and clench my stomach. I exhaled and groaned quietly, hoping that ranboo was around to at least bring me some water.

I turned over and saw that our bed was empty, just me by myself. I remembered that Michael has school today, so he's probably dropping him off. As much as I didn't want to, I got up. I've got to be resourceful and do things myself as an independent man.

I felt the feeling of the blood trailing down, which I just hated. I got up and quickly went to get feminine products from the bathroom. I always hated the name "femine product" when I, too, was using them, but I knew it was simpler to call it that. The pad I wore was only a constant reminder that I would never be a man... at least that's what my thoughts would say.

I held my stomach as I made my way down the stairs and brought myself to the kitchen. I quickly checked the medicine cabinet for any sort of medication to help ease the pain.

I felt the sharp pain retreat for a moment, only for it to strike back as if I was being stabbed. I groaned and shakily grabbed the painkillers. I grabbed a glass of lukewarm water and downed the pills as well as the entire glass.

I knew the pain would take a while to go away, so I sat down on the couch covered in blankets and turned on the TV.

--

After about an hour, the pain would not let up, and it was becoming worse. I got up and walked back to the room, where I laid down and tried my best to sleep and ignore the feeling of nausea and pain.

Then the mood swings kicked in...

I began to sniffle and cry as I curled in on myself even more. My cries became snobs as my thoughts raced through my head, all dysphoric ones that caused me to hate myself all the more.

"You'll never be a boy."

"You're just pretending to be trans,"

"You deserve this all. You deserve this pain. "

"You will never  Ever. Be a boy." That one stung. The tears continued to stream down my face, even when I heard the front door unlocking.

I quieted down my wails so as not to worry ranboo, but my sobs were still fairly loud. I could hear him hanging up his coat and taking off his shoes at the front door when I heard his sweet voice.

"Tubbo?" My heart sunk. Why did he even care about me? What if the thoughts are right? What if I am just faking it?

I didn't respond, I tried my best to ignore him, but my heart ached the longer I stood in my silence. Consumed by my toxic thoughts, I buried my face deeper into the blankets and continued to cry.

"Tubbo..?" I heard him call out again. His sweet, caring tone made me cry harder. I didn't deserve him. I heard his footsteps trail along the long wooden staircase until he was at the door. The door creaked in response to its unoiled hinges, causing my ear to flinch.

I heard him slowly and cautiously walk over until he was beside the bed next to me. I could hear him bend down, suddenly feeling the smallest weight on the blanket on top of my head. He carefully pulled the sheets down, and our eyes met, his loving gaze broke my heart. I didn't want him to see me like this, I was supposed to be strong. Why wasn't I strong?

"Are you okay? What happened?" These simple questions broke me. I was not okay, and I really didn't want to talk about it. He wouldn't understand, I'm sure he wouldn't. There's no use in telling him he'll probably just think it's stupid.

I tried to hide in the sheets again, but he stopped me. His face softened as he studied my expression.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's okay, love." He bent over and gave me a small kiss on the forehead. "Can I get you anything?" He whispered, resting his head on the bed to get to my level.

I shook my head. Why did he care? I was just some attention seeking bitch who's experiencing deserved pain. Right?

"Do you need space?" He mumbled, his mouth slightly obscured by the mattress. I couldn't help but smile, lightly wiping my tears. I moved my hand toward him and began to play with his hair as the tears continued to stream down my face.

My hand trailed from the tips of his hair to softly caressing his horns. He shut his eyes and began to purr. I smiled and softly used my thumb to brush against the sides of his horns. He let out small whimpers, and his eyes slowly fluttered open as he eyed me in a jokingly angry way. I smiled and dragged the blanket all the way over me.

He let out a small growl and climbed on top of me, making me forget about my nausea and pain. I giggled loudly as he began to tickle me through the blanket.

Soon, he pulled the blanket off of my face and pushed his forehead against my forehead. Our eyes locked, and I couldn't help but smile widely.

My smile quickly vanished as I felt the same nausea that kept me grounded earlier. I bit my lip and winced. He quickly got off.

"I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?" He asked, ready to aid me as soon as possible. I shook my head, the tears returning to my eyes as I whined and held my stomach.

He laid down beside me and nuzzled his face into my neck. We laid in silence, my lower waist aching. The pain soon faded as I focused my attention on his soft breathing, which put me at ease.

"Not talkative as usual... that's okay. Just want to make sure you're feeling alright. I don't like it when you cry..." He whispered the last part, and my heart felt as if it was to shatter into a million pieces right then and there. I carefully turned over and buried my face in his hair, shutting my eyes.

--

The pain had almost nearly gone completely, and if it wasn't for ranboo, I would probably still be crying in the blankets.

I'm so happy, even if I'm feeling dysphoric.

(A/N)

Short one, haha. anyways I originally started writing this during my period for some reason, but here you go. It isn't very much revised haha anyways ily all (/p) take care of yourselves

Word count: 1188