If I Could Turn Back Time || Larissa Weems

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In the past years I had always dreaded Outreach Day. However, this year was different. For the first time in my life, I was excited. I couldn't remember the last time I put so much effort into my appearance.

The things this woman does to me.

I met her in the town square, standing in the crowd of locals, news casters, and scattered students. I watched as she stood beside the mayor, smiling brightly at the crowd. You could practically feel her excitement.

"Alright, everyone," she smiled. "We'll meet back here at one for lunch! Enjoy!"

I waited for the crowd to disperse and made my way over to Larissa. "Are you ready for our..." I lowered my voice. "...lunch date?"

She giggled. "I am. I need to do something, though. I'll meet you at the Weathervane."

The date seemed to me like lightning. Before she even joined me, I had ordered our lunch: a classic grilled cheese for me and a tomato and pesto grilled cheese for her, accompanied by two cups of hot chocolate and a basket of fries. She was beaming when she saw me in the booth waiting for her.

When she sat down, her legs brushed against mine. A chill went down my spine and I watched as she removed her gloves, imagining everything those long, slender fingers could do to me.

"I see you've already ordered," she hummed. "Saved me a lot of indecisiveness. Thank you!"

I laughed. "Well, I'm indecisive to a fault, so I already had my order picked out, and I knew you liked the grilled cheese from last time."

Larissa's smile softened–but the softness brought out an affection I hadn't seen in her before. "That's...very thoughtful of you. Thank you, Y/N."

For the next hour we talked about our lives. There were no awkward pauses in between conversations and the topics flowed from one to the next.

When the time for the statue unveiling arrived, we walked side by side to the church. The Nevermore students, accompanied by marching band students from Jericho High school, were already seated. When Larissa stepped up to the podium, followed by the mayor, silence flooded the crowd. I stood there, smiling ear to ear as I watched Larissa cut the red ribbon, revealing the statue for the entire world to see.

The marching band played, the students cheered, the crowd let out a rapturous applause. It seems, however, that they were all too distracted by the ceremony, and I myself was distracted by Larissa, because in a matter of seconds the statue of Joseph Crackstone was up in flames.

__________

Night had fallen and I stood outside of Larissa's office, listening to the muffled sound of her shouting. The events of the day and theories as to who blew up the statue circled around the school. And, as Larissa would do, she assumed it was Wednesday Addams. I pressed my ear to the door.

"I've lost count of the number of angry emails..."

"I don't have hard evidence..."

"...There are shades of gray..."

"Where you see doom, I see opportunity."

Moments later, footsteps neared the door and I stepped aside. Wednesday Addams emerged, her face glum as ever, and she paused, glaring at me before walking past.

When I entered Larissa's office she stood in the glow of the fireplace. Just being 20 feet from her I could feel the tension. I approached her carefully. "I'm sorry about Outreach Day."

Larissa sighed, her hand coming to her forehead. "Why?"

"Well, I know how important it is to you," I said, and my eyebrows scrunched together. I was taken aback by her tone.

She moved across the room to her desk and slumped down in the chair. Opening her computer, she scoffed. "Well, it's no matter. I should've expected something like this to happen with Miss Addams' attendance."

I rolled my eyes humorously before going to stand before her. "How do you know it's Wednesday's doing, Larissa?"

"I don't–I–just–" She cut herself off with a sigh. "I just do."

I giggled. "You make a very compelling case." Seeing that my joke didn't land, I dropped my smile. "...I'm sorry."

Larissa sat there for a few moments in silence, typing away. After clicking something, she turned her attention back toward me. "She said that there are no shades of gray."

I was confused. "What?"

"Wednesday," Larissa reiterated. "She claimed that Normies haven't changed their ways. That they still hate us, but cover it up with niceties. She said that history is going to repeat itself, and I told her that, if we're able to, we can rewrite the wrongs that the Normies made. She made it entirely black and white, Y/N."

My voice was quiet. "Larissa..." When she looked at me, I knew then that I had to tell her everything. "I'm sorry, but...whether or not Wednesday did set fire to the statue of Crackstone, I side with her on this."

"I'm sorry?"

"She's right," I said. I studied the look on Larissa's face. There was some form of disbelief–maybe even a sense of betrayal behind her eyes. "Larissa, as a history teacher, I've had to analyze hundreds of events and what they snowballed into." I stepped toward her, leaning over the desk as her face displayed a hint of anger. "Joseph Crackstone and the others kidnapped Outcasts, Larissa. They burned every single one of them in that meeting house. And, even after all of this, after the United States gave Outcasts equal rights, they still haven't addressed all of the harm done."

"I kn–"

"No," I said. "Let me finish. Instead of addressing these atrocities, the government threw laws out and wiped history clean of their wrongdoings. If we don't address this, then Wednesday is right. Normies will never learn, and they will never treat Outcasts as equals. This is black and white. Either, either we erase all evidence of Normie's oppressing Outcasts and we repeat everything, or we can educate them, address their treatment of Outcasts, and prevent the snowball from growing into an avalanche."

Being told she was in the wrong did not suit Larissa. Her nostrils flared. "Fine."

"Fine?" I repeated. "That's all?"

"Yes. Fine." She stood up and walked me to the door.

I stepped away and turned to face her. My eyes burned into hers as I craned my neck, my anger–and hers for that matter–evident. "Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? I can understand having a positive outlook on this situation, and hope for a better future, but this isn't the way! You're ignoring everything! As an Outcast, I think you'd want to ad–"

"As an Outcast?" she spat. "You don't think I want change? You don't think I want every single citizen in this town to trust us? To see us as equals? You don't think I've ever been denied something because I'm an Outcast?" Her words were filled with venom as she continued. "You're wrong! You have no idea what it's like to have to fill out a job application and check the box that reads 'Outcast'! Having to go about a workplace filled with Normies being wary of you! So, don't call me ridiculous, when you have no right to as a Normie!"

My blood was boiling and I had to steady my breathing. "I don't know? I don't know?" I took a deep breath to gather my words. "When you offered me this teaching position, I was thrilled, however, I was dreading the decision. You told me the world needs more teachers like me. I took that into account when making my decision, because I loved my students very much. I fought tooth and nail with myself! But, in the end, it wasn't myself who made the decision." My voice started to shake. "Larissa, I–My boss...Larissa, I'm an Outcast!" The blood seemed to drain from her face. "That is why I am teaching here now. I didn't choose to, I was forced to. I was–I was fired, Larissa! I was fired for being an Outcast! So don't tell me that I don't know what it feels like. Because I can assure you, I do."

I turned my back toward her. At this point, I couldn't care less about what she wanted to say. This standoff that she and I had created and drained me to my core, and if I had stayed there any longer, the tears that I wanted to keep back so much would've broken through.

A/N: Hey bitches I'm back! I have one more class final to do next week and I will be free from the binds of schooling...until may 15 when I start summer classes. But updates should be frequent now. Ilysm<333