Under the Water(Fem. Percy)

Chapter 19

Later that night, a storm rages outside. I sit in the observatory, on one of the viewing couches, blanket tucked around my shoulders. Cyreus is nowhere to be seen. Which I don't really mind. The swirling torrents of water are more enjoyable alone.

There's enough going on that calm moments, much less calm moments when I'm alone, feel like a gift from the gods. The palace shudders, and I close my eyes for just a second. How bad would it be to simply accept that I'm never going to escape? Free food. Free place to sleep. Safety. Those aren't cheap things, and all I'd be trading is...

I don't know.

Dad, he keeps saying that me being locked in my room is temporary. Just in case, or so I don't get hurt. Cyreus says that he just wants me safe. Amphitrite says that he wants to make me a princess.

So what do I have to give in exchange? What could I possibly offer up to the god who's the reason I even exist?

"Percy?"

I don't look at Dad. I don't acknowledge him. My gaze is fixated on the pulsing water, and my every sense intertwines with it. I feed my power into it--pushing, shoving, forcing it to strengthen the storm.

"You're going to burst the glass if you direct too much of the current towards it."

Every drop of what I have to offer, I give. What other use is there? No battles. No monsters. Nothing. Nothing I can do to make myself useful. Nothing I can do to control anything, because nothing I do will ever be good enough for Dad to stop treating me like I'm helpless. As long as I drain myself dry, there's nothing to spill over against him.

Hands dropping onto my shoulders, Dad forces my powers to a halt.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" he demands.

Am I? I sway, don't answer, and stare at his shirt. It's not his tunic. Maybe I could've dealt with this if it was. Because at some point, I started associating the long tunic with his duties as a god and everything else as him...not being a god. Gods can be angry. But him being angry with me as my dad, that makes something in my chest twist. And I can't think. Can't form words. My mouth's dry.

When he drops beside me, I curl against his side, still without answering. I want the safety, the security. Part of me wants to hide under a fin; he doesn't have any so I settle for slipping under his arm. He sighs. It's soft and exasperated, but not angry.

"I...didn't hurt you when I picked you up, did I?" he asks. His hand drifts to the back of my neck and down my spine. Despite knowing he's just looking for injuries, I press closer to him and grasp at his shirt. "Are you scared?"

I shake my head.

"It's okay if you are. You just have to tell me what you're scared of, and I can make sure it won't hurt you."

I almost scoff, but luckily catch myself. Yeah? How fast will he turn on me if I tell him that he scares me? Because he won't disappear just because I don't want him around.

The gods are always nerve wracking, but I don't usually have to spend this long around them.

"Cyreus talked to me."

"Sorry," I whisper.

"You wouldn't have made it to shore. But I can't fault you for trying. Not when things have been much more hectic than I'd thought they'd be. You must thing I'm ignoring you at this point."

"It's fine. I understand why you don't have time, and it's not like there's a lot to do down here."

He kisses my head. "There's a lot of things I could teach you. I should be helping you learn how to read High Atlantean, but...my duties have been keeping me busy. And I'm not cruel enough to teach you to read by handing you council documents."

"You handed me stuff that is denser than my head is."

"You're not stupid. You simply had the worst luck in becoming friends with one of Athena's brats." he says. "Do you want me to grab you something to drink?'

Before I answer, he gets up and disappears. Before I can roll my eyes, he's back and passing me a mug. A small dome of air bubbles the top of it. Whipped cream bobs on the surface of the drink.

"Did you steal these from someone?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny that." He exhales. "You need to talk to me, Percy."

He swirls his drink with a motion of his finger. I look at mine and attempt to do the same. The rich chocolate rises in a mini tornado. Dad eases it back into the mug. "You were stirring it too fast."

"Uh, thanks," I say, leaning forward to put the mug down. It doesn't seem as appetizing now that I nearly splashed near boiling chocolate on my face. My fingers laced together, I peek at Dad. "What do you want me to talk to you about?"

"You keep trying to run away. I'm trying to be accommodating here, but no matter what I do, you keep wanting to go back to the surface. You're starting to make me think that you like monsters being after you." His eyes narrow and he looks at me. "You don't, do you?"

"I don't like the fear of dying to them, but we have a betting pool about what will attack me next. I think most people are saying its going to be the son of that bull you sent again. He really seems to hate me. You can get in it too, minimum wager is five dollars or two drachmas. I'm not allowed in it, but I'd wager on something that lives down here if you're planning on not letting me leave." The grin on my face is a bit too forced. He doesn't look twice though, instead closing his eyes and tilting his head back.

"I am not betting on how you'll be put in danger."

"Ah, no. That's a separate bet altogether. More of I'll get a prophecy or another war will start. Stuff like that."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I mean, yeah. Because you could easily put a bet on 'god makes me do things' and get a pretty large amount. I think its a fifty times return?"

Dad slides off the couch. He takes my hands in his worn, weathered ones. "I promise-- I swear I'm not going to make you go out and do something. You've done enough already, and the last thing I want to do is to make you feel like you're not protected here.

"Why do you think I want you to stay in the palace when there's a murderer on the loose? I shouldn't have even taken you with me. I knew, I knew, there'd be a risk of you getting hurt, and then you did."

Concern and regret lace through his voice. I swallow, surprised, and squeeze his hands. They're solid. "You're not supposed to do this for me."

Gods need to keep a distance from us, because of some reason I don't know. That was probably one of the earliest things I learned, when people told me not to get my hopes up about being claimed. It's one of the hard truths about being a demigod. Only one of your parents can ever actually love you.

"Water doesn't like being told what its allowed to do."

I wasn't actually planning on updating this week since uh...an at least 7 page paper is due sunday and I do not have enough of it done yet

But I had enough words done to make a shorter chapter

See yah