The Ghost Between

chapter one

Venessa
I used to be Venessa, that's before a stupid doctor did something that got me dead. Let me tell you a bit about myself before I passed away.
I won't say I went to the afterlife, cause I'm still among the living. I used to go to a high school in Cantor, a state in Canada. I grew up in Cantor and I love the place.
I was a sophomore when he noticed me, Ethan, the typical high school bad boy. He had black hair, blue eyes, muscled well toned and he had a bike! He was the quarterback of the football team. I've had a crush on him since freshman year. Who didn't? He was handsome, like the guy of my dreams. Well, he was the guy of my dreams.
One day we got stuck in an elevator, our parents worked in the same company, my Dad works for him, but you get. We wanted to visit our parents that same day, so we entered the same elevator and got stuck.
I was in the same space with the guy of my dreams, I was on cloud nine. Then I realized he was claustrophobic, so I managed to calm him down. We started talking and getting to know each other until the elevator was fixed. I remember telling my best friend Anna about it, she was happy for me.
The next day at school the typical bad boy ignored me, which crushed me. I'd see him making out with different girls, especially Maddie, the popular girl in school. He'd see me and act like I don't exist.
That's until I started dating Greg, the captain of the football team, he was a senior. Why did I date Greg? I don't know, he liked me, and I wanted to move on.
One day at a party, Ethan saw me outside, I wasn't feeling the whole party thing, so I came out to get some air. "Why are you with Greg?" I remember he asked. I told him I wanted to, one thing led to another and we started kissing. Greg caught us that night, I got dumped, and Ethan got punched. We started dating eventually after Ethan made peace with Greg. I was his girl, and I liked it.
Fast forward to us dating, and finally doing it. You know what I mean? Good luck isn't for me, cause I got pregnant.
Ethan changed when I told him I was pregnant, at first he panicked and then became rude towards me, sometimes he'd call and apologize. I was the one pregnant, but he was the one with mood swings.
Our relationship was getting worse, especially when the news circulated to the whole school. I didn't want to lose him, so I tried getting an abortion, but it didn't fail, because I lost the baby and my life.
Ethan completely changed after my death, from a typical high school bad boy to a typical high school weirdo. I can't move on until he does, he has lost himself in guilt. I don't know how to help him, I've watched him become a shadow of himself. I wish he knew that regardless, the abortion was my choice, though he kinda pushed me to do it, with his attitude, but I've forgiven him, I can't move on until he realizes that it's okay to forgive himself.