The Alpha's Prey [Alpha-series (I)]

Chapter 18

7 months earlier

I looked at the half-eaten plate in front of me: Scrambled eggs, crunchy bacon, toast, and fresh tomato slices. I had prepared the breakfast myself. Up until recently my mother had ordered someone to bring me something, since to this day in most households it was considered the duty of the woman to take care of the meals, but seeing the tray of food at my doorstep every morning had only served as a constant, painful reminder of the fact that I was twenty-seven and still without mate. There was no one who prepared breakfast for me, no one who awaited me in the kitchen with the enticing smell of coffee, freshly baked pancakes, a warm smile, and a soft embrace. Only a lonely tray in front of my door.

One day, I decided I’d had enough. As the Alpha, it wasn’t part of my nature to be dependent on someone else, so I had started to prepare my meals myself. At first, they had tasted horrible, but I had gotten better, good even. When I finally found my mate and made her mine, I would cook for her. The morning after our claiming, I would surprise her with a meal I made myself, and she would repay me with a hug and a kiss and … more. Yes, that’s what I would do when I finally found her …

Today, the breakfast tasted as good as always, yet I couldn't bring myself to eat another bite, even though I knew it would be a long day and I needed nourishment. In a rash of anger, I swiped the whole plate from the table. The food was spread all over the kitchen floor and the fine china splattered.

Frustrated I ran my hand through my hair. Anni and Josh expected their first pup. She had called yesterday to let us know. Our parents had been over the moon, of course. Their first grandchild.

"Awesome! That'll keep Mom occupied for a while and she'll finally stop caring about my sex-life all the time", had been Liam’s chipper comment when I had dropped by to inform him of the good news. "I am way too young to be a father!"

"Having the mental maturity of a fifteen-year-old is nothing to be proud of", Rou replied, sending her mate a sour look.

"Says the one talking like a conservative grandmother ...", Liam muttered.

"At least I have the balls to insult someone right into his face …"

The two continued their quarreling, and had I not known them, I would have started to worry about their relationship. But with Rou and my brother, I had come to learn it was simply their way to show their love, always had been. One could see it in the way their eyes lit up for a split second whenever they met one another or in the way they would casually caress one another almost constantly.

After all, it had been mostly thanks to Rou that Liam had been able to cope with the loss of his legs. That fierce woman hadn’t left his bedside once, despite all the horrible things her mate had thrown at her in his despair, despite knowing that her mate would never be able to walk again, would always need her help even for the smallest of things. And when he had broken down in tears like a child right in front of her, she had simply put her arms around him as if it would be the most natural thing in the world – and then she dryly told him how ugly he looked when he was crying. It had been the first time I had seen my brother smile after that horrible incident with the young wolf. But it had also been the first time I truly understood what I was missing out on.

And it had been the first time my jealousy had gotten the best of me. For a split second, I had wished she would have left him so I wouldn’t be the only one without mate anymore. Before my thoughts could go down that dark path even further, I had quickly left the house of the healer. Still, the fact that I had set foot on that path in the first place remained – and I instinctively knew there would be a next time.

I had been right. Many next times had followed. So now instead of being happy for my sister, I only remembered how she had lost her first pup halfway through her pregnancy, and this ugly voice inside of me called out once again, hoping history would repeat itself. At least I was still sane enough to know how sick and wrong that was, yet having such thoughts in the first place was something that shouldn’t be.