After losing his daughter so many years ago Joel put walls up, preventing himself from feeling that pain and loss. From caring for someone else.
But whenever Tommy disappears and He needs a new battery in order to find him. Joel and Tess find themse...
Sorry about the long wait but here is the chapter that will make you all traumatised and hate me🤩🤌🩵 this is a long one so buckle up bitches. also this goes without saying but TIGGER WARNING!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Time to kick some Christian ass"
Bonnie crashed through the door of the old house and ran straight downstairs into the basement where Joel was. Clutching the vials,that had been wrapped in cloth, for dear life. She dropped to her knees on the concrete surveying Joel who was still asleep. She was no longer cold after her sprint through the woods her heart thumping in her ears, her throat.
She shakily unwrapped the vials and needle from the cloth. She looked between the medicine and Joel. He needed it. Whatever happened to her didn't matter, Joel needed this to survive. He kept her alive for this long, now it was her turn to try and keep him alive. No matter the repercussions on herself
She grabbed the multiple layers she had put over him and pulled them back, revealing the red wound, that still had that sickly yellow tint. She cringed looking at it, no wonder Joel was in a coma. And who's fault was that?
Bonnie couldn't help but blame herself for everything. It was her fault that she didn't hear the man coming back at the university. Joel wouldn't have been stabbed if it wasn't for her. She tried to avoid it getting infected but obviously she didn't try hard enough. Nothing she ever did was enough. She was a fucking worthless piece of shit that couldn't do anything right.
Over the course of time Joel had been absent she had contemplated using the rifle to put Joel out of his misery. She had fantasised about the ways she would end her life.
Drowning? Grab a bunch of snow, let it melt. Then just stop fighting for air. No would take to long. Gun? Use the rifle, blow her brains out. No she would never be able to pull the trigger. Starvation? On the verge of that. Too slow. Stabbing herself? There was an old hunting knife she found in the basement but she figured with her track record she wouldn't be able to follow through. She briefly thought of tying her hands to a bolt in the garage and tying her legs to the horse then kicking it away so she would be torn in two. No, she was no good with knots. Hell she can't even tie her own god damn shoe laces.
Her most recent thought was covering herself in turpentine that she found in the old garage and then light herself on fire. The suffering that came along with that one appealed to her most. She wanted it to hurt, that's what she deserved.
She let her mind slip back down into the darkness, a darkness she hadn't felt since katie, since Joel. But now it was back, relentless, and there was no one to save her from it.
She tried to suppress her spiralling mind as she stabbed the needle into the vial containing the medicine and drew back the plunger of the syringe, filling it with the liquid. Bonnie looked down at the wound, she decided she would be no good at locating a vein, she would probably stab him to death before she managed that, so instead she plunged the long metal tip of the syringe into the small gap in her stitching, straight into the wound.
