A Familiar Love- A Radhakrishn Retelling

9. C𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍

Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of a panic attack

Radha awoke with a start, she sat up and looked around, she was in her room and the bright sun shone down on her from her bedroom window. A restless feeling settled upon her heart. Was it a dream? She took a deep breath in and thought about the events that seemed to have occurred that night. They were hazy, the conversations even hazier and she couldn't seem to pinpoint the face of the person in her dreams but she knew who it was, it was her Lord Krishna and in the dream, just for a little bit, she was his Radha like she pretended to be as a little kid.

It was a dream, she concluded at last. The need to go back to sleep and be there, in that mesmerising place with her Kanha and hear his flute, for a little more time, was overwhelming but she needed to get up and not think about places she couldn't go to and about people she couldn't be with. She glanced at the picture of Lord Krishna that hung beside her bed and started her day with questions in her mind 'Was it you Kanha? Was this a sign? Have I gone too far from you?'

Despite her silent promise to herself, she caught herself thinking about the dream multiple times that day, it gave her a sense of contentment and entirety so she allowed her thoughts to wander off for a day. She allowed herself to live in that dream for a little bit more before reality hit once more, she allowed herself to be that little girl again who thought of herself as Krishna's Radha, she allowed herself to be happy.

***

The next morning was a Monday morning, it was a rather pleasant and breezy day, the sun was bright without a cloud in the sky which was a rarity in August. Radha felt particularly ecstatic that day which was also a rarity on a Monday morning so Krishn watched amused as she walked up to the bus stop with a skip in her step and a grin on her face.

"Two days in a row, lady, who are you and what have you done to Radha?" he teased.

"I'm just," she took in a deep breath of morning air and looked at him "I'm just happy today."

The bus was here.

"Happiness is a good look on you, my lady." He smiled at her and boarded the bus.

She blushed and followed him inside and took the seat next to him.

"You know," she began, catching his attention. "I've gotten used to having you around, I think a day without you around would be pretty boring now."

She immediately regretted saying that when she saw that infuriating grin form on his face.

"Oh are we finally friends, love?"

"Ugh you ruined the moment," she rolled her eyes, ignoring the flutter in her heart. "And stop calling me that!"

He chuckled and nodded, never intending to keep that silent promise.

After that a peaceful silence engulfed them, Radha pulled out a book and read, totally immersed in it not noticing Krishn's fond gaze on her, the entire time.

The school was tiresome and by the end of the day Radha felt exhausted, she had to stay back again due to dance practises and it was draining. Her cheeky smile and cheerful aura had long vanished as she walked out of the school gate towards the metro station. For a second, she thought of Krishn and how he took care of her last time and made sure that she reached home safely, and for a second she wanted him to be waiting outside the school gates again and just for a second she felt disappointed when she saw his absence. But she quickly rid her mind of his thoughts,

"Why would you expect him to be waiting out here when he was also probably exhausted from school. It's not like you are super important to him, you treat him like a stranger all the time, that is so selfish of you, you stupid fool," she muttered to herself.