In My Skin

CH 34 || Avoid at all Costs

I pushed through the wide double door, squinting into the afternoon sun. Finally, my classes were over. Now the only thing left to do was drive home with Suz, settle in, and finish our latest drama.

Two more letters had arrived during the week. The first had been tucked inside the newspaper, a headline with the word homicide ripped out and crammed inside the envelope. The second, I'd found wedged between the door frame and the front door when I'd left this morning. Dark red letters spelled, "Disappear or I will make you." Attached was another newspaper article about a man who murdered his girlfriend.

At least whoever it was was creative. I had stashed them with the other ones, hidden inside my nightstand, and barely thought about them at all. Maybe I stopped caring since letters couldn't hurt me. Or, maybe, my mind was simply too occupied by a certain someone.

I glanced around, saw that the field was clear, and started towards Suz's car.

After our kiss, I had no idea how to face Killian. Or talk to him. Okay, fine, maybe I was panicking. Jumping into a new relationship terrified me. History had proven that my judgment seemed to be a bit...off sometimes. Plus, there was this tiny voice inside my head that screamed I wasn't ready. Then again, it had felt so good.

I stopped mid-stride. Oh, God. I was a lost cause. How the hell was I supposed to face him when the mere thought of our kiss sent my heart into a frenzy?

The answer was the same as before. Until I knew how, there was only one option: avoid at all costs.

So far that had been surprisingly easy. At least physically. My mind seemed to have different ideas. That night lived rent-free inside my head. As if someone had recorded us, transferred the video to my hard drive, and bugged it so that it was playing on repeat.

I shook my head. Maybe a good Kdrama would help me forget about everything. I continued walking, and sent a quick text to Suz to let her know that I was on my way. As soon as I looked up, I saw him. Killian.

I always seemed to spot him these days. As if someone had planted a Killian sensor into my brain.

I quickly hid behind a pillar, hugging my books to my chest. My curiosity gnawed at me until it finally won out and instead of leaving, I studied him from a distance.

There was just something about him that seemed to draw me in. He stood among a group of guys—probably from class since I didn't recognize them—looking just the same as usual. Short dark brown hair slightly ruffled. A sweatshirt that clung to his broad shoulders, emphasizing his muscular frame. I couldn't help but imagine how good it felt to run my hands over—God dammit, I really had to get a grip.

He said something to the guy next to him when some girls joined. One of them stood a bit too close, her long, mahogany hair glimmering in the bright sun's rays. My muscles tensed when she reached out to brush something from his shoulders.

He didn't seem affected at all. I had been suffering the last few days whereas he looked normal. Maybe he thought of it as a mistake. Maybe it was a mistake. Fuck.

Killian pulled out his phone, typing something while the brunette seemed to try to engage him in a conversation. Maybe he was saving her number. Which was fine. Totally fine. None of my business. I had been avoiding him for a week after all. But despite knowing that, my chest tightened with every second I watched unable to drag my gaze away. Yep, I had issues.

He was still fumbling with his phone, but his body was turned in her direction. My nails dug into my palm. I should leave. But somehow my feet had decided to sprout roots. It was impossible to move.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Probably Suz.

I wasn't the jealous type, which in hindsight might be one of the reasons it took me so long to realize what was going on between Jess and Chris. But now... This restlessness was strange. I couldn't seem to shut down my emotions as well as usual.