In My Skin

CH 54 || His Inner Grumpy Grandpa

For once the campus café was unusually quiet. With most students away for the holidays, the usually crowded space seemed oddly large. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, and I inhaled, savoring the bitter aroma in my mouth. True to her word, Suz had helped me stick to the diet which strictly forbade any caffeinated drinks. And my daily coffee had been replaced with chicory coffee. Not bad but not the same. There was just something magical about an afternoon cup of coffee that lifted your spirit.

With a sigh, I took a sip of my peppermint tea, snuggling deeper into the oversized PSU hoodie. Killian's hoodie, to be precise. I wasn't sure if he knew I had kept it, but since he hadn't asked for it back. It was safe to assume he'd either forgotten about it or didn't care. Or maybe in his mind the cloth was discarded. In any case, I needed the comfort tonight.

To my great dismay, it seemed that the best way to combat social anxiety was to venture out and, well, interact with people. So, Suz had sent me on a sort of practice mission. Or perhaps she intended for me to mend another fractured relationship. After my "break-off" with Killian, I had unintentionally distanced myself from Cody as well.

A few minutes later, Cody walked in, clad in university attire, mirroring my own outfit. As soon as he spotted me in the back, he made his way over and took a seat across from me. I greeted him, attempting to conjure a smile, though it likely came across as more of a grimace.

"How have you been doing?" Cody asked, and I immediately felt guilty again.

Every time I picked up my phone to give him a call or reply to his messages, it felt as if someone had pulled a rope around my chest and yanked it. I knew I wouldn't be strong enough not to ask about Killian, and as soon as I went down that rabbit hole, it would be over. I was barely holding on as of now.

I bit my lip. "I've been better, I guess."

"Yeah, I can tell."

We lapsed into another silence. I cringed at the awkward atmosphere between us. This was also my fault. "I—I'm sorry, Co. I should've—"

"Stop it," Cody interrupted me. "You don't have to apologize. I get it."

"Oh. Okay."

"I mean with Killian being my roommate and all."

My ears perked up at the mention of Killian, and I straighted, fiddling with the cup of tea in front of me, a question burning in my throat.

"You can ask me about him, you know?"

I gulped. "I suppose Killian's doing okay?"

Cody chuckled dryly. "You mean the elder that's living with me? I suppose you could say he's okay, depending how you define okay."

My heart dropped. "Um... What?"

"It's like he's channeling his inner grumpy grandpa. You know, the kind who scowls at everyone and complains about the world going downhill. I half-expect him to start shaking his fist at passing clouds and muttering about 'the good old days'. Well, that or he's pushing himself so hard in his workouts that he's practically moving like an exhausted old-timer. Sometimes I poke him just to check if he's still alive."

I had no idea what to say to that. If the situation was any different, I would've laughed.

Cody was about to say something else when a group of guys spilled into the café. Jared was at the front, followed by some of the team. They saw Cody first, and I hunched my shoulders, keeping my head down as they all came up to greet him.

Jared acted like I was air. So much for being friends. Not that his behavior was that surprising. I'd seen it many times before, especially with guys.