always » l.r.h.

note no. 1

Luke,

Hey. I guess when you're reading this, I already did the 'bad news'. Or at least attempting to. Believe it or not, it's hard. But it's for the best. I know that half of that half of the world hates me and wants to kill me. But I'll do the favor for them. You just came back from tour today, am I right? Or you're just avoiding this letter for a week because you heard the news before this. Believe me, I've read so many YA books to tell the cliché shit.

Luke, no words can explain how much I love you. I gave you all the love I can give, which is the whole of me. You aren't my life but you're the reason I lived. So I'm going to go by this line even though it's cliché; it's not you it's me. And it's true. I could've done this before but you came by one day asking for the directions to the bathroom and my number. To be honest it's pretty smooth. Do you still remember that?

I was in the back of the library, blade in my hand, tears in my eyes, blood streaming aggressively down my wrist. You were completely different back then. It's a good different. Tall dork boy with black Ray-Bans. You almost saw me doing it but gladly I was wiping it away when you asked. You were suspicious at my hand which is at my back but you slipped it away and was like, "How about your number?"

Of course I gave it. You would probably forget it it at the end of the day. But I was surprised when you texted me, "I saw it. But you shouldn't. You're too beautiful for that :)." Then you added a few emojis more. You said you were a fan of them and you were so amazed because there were so many of them. But now, the Luke that I love is now rocking the stage out with many fans adoring him. But you were never different in my heart. You're still the boy in a suit with chocolates and flowers in hand on front of my door step when you asked me out. You're still the penguin boy that kept telling me jokes and pick up lines from Club Penguin.

I was your first fan back then. Remember you're first gig at that popular diner? I was in the front row (not really front row but you get the idea). Michael joked that it would be awesome to perform at Nandos. You probably don't know until now that I have an aunt who works there and I had to work one month to get the gig you boys wanted

I'm gonna quote one from TFIOS; 'I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.' You're the first who entered my heart and I wish you would keep the key. And now you're free to go out of gracie's heart. What's that saying again? If you love someone, set them free? It used to make me gag but now it hit me like a truck.

There's a lot of stuff I will tell you on the next note.

Always,
Gracie