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A few months ago had somebody told me this is where life could lead me, I would not believe it.
He comes into the room but I keep the urge to ask him about his day to myself.
He goes to the bathroom and comes back showered and changed into his sleeping wear.
After a few minutes I fold my book closed, switched off the reminiscence of my side lamp.
I get under covers seconds before sleep washes over me.
In the middle of the night I suddenly feel hot and bothered, taking the covers away from my body only sends chills.
I throw the cover on my lower body, the upper free off the blanket.
It should be better than.
A few minutes pass.
I still feel hot.
I shuffle side and side looking for a perfect resting position till he groans.
"Would you stop".
His voice partly sleepy and partly annoyed.
I keep mum much like we've both been these past few days. I sigh, caught between giving up and continuing finding perfect rest.
I shuffle once more, making halting moves.
The blanket off my shoulders, up my shoulders.
My legs spread apart, closed together the next second.
My head facing him, it faces the other side a second later.
Why can't I sleep?
Amidst my predicament, he turns, balances his head on his hand.
It's dark, moonlight is not enough for me to make out his expression so without digging much I simply cover half my face with the blanket and utter,
"Sorry".
No response.
"You can come sleep on me, I'm sure it's peaceful".
He sounds fully awake.
I don't move, it's not like sleeping on his chest is going to fix us.
I face the other side and sleep, surprisingly without feeling any hotter or any bothered.
He is still in his position.
I expect him to give up and give in back to sleep but he shifts closer.
Shuttering the gap between us.
My back rests on his chest. He breathes and rests his head on my neck, croaching his free hand over my waist. He shifts me closer to him.
I don't resist him.
"Come" he can however sense my holdback.
I turn my body to face him. He welcomes me into his embrace.
I needed this. I needed this warmth. It's better than all those sleepless nights alone on this big bed.
It feels long awaited. Why did we fight? Why couldn't we just let it all go just like we'd always done?
"What are you thinking?".
He brushes my hair with his hand, the other holding on my shoulder brushing in motion.
His touch gives me shivers.
I'd been in a desert, I feel like this sudden puddle is going to swallow me whole and I'll drown.
Nonetheless I let him continue.
I sigh.
"Anuj".
He responds with a light mhhh.
He resumes brushing on my shoulder in motion.
"I'm sorry". I don't know if he'll catch up, this is not because of my restless sleep but for the way things have been between us.
He keeps mum letting me get it all out.
"I know I have so much burden on me and I need not list it all but I know how much this has been getting into me. I'm sorry for shutting you out. I won't do it again I promise".
His hand previously brushing my head now squeezes harder on my waist but he remains silent.
"Anuj..."
It digs deeper into my skin.
I raise my head to meet up with his eyes.
I could feel his breath, mine escapes my lips too and flutters on him.
"Never ever leave me out". He means that.
"I promise". I say.
This feels like a burden off my shoulder. I rest my head back on his chest, he slightly push off.
In my conflict zone; a battle with my palpitating heart from his hand brushing on my shoulder; his finger deepening into my skin, his breath on my skin he had to add and say,
"Kiss me"
"Anujjj". I push off slightly too. He pulled me back.
Tilting his head to gain me access closer to his lips, I lift my head closer. He captures my lips but does not move. We both stay in that position for a second before he lets go only to peck me again. Much like testing the waters.
I want you too.
He sits up half his upper body, free hand crooked on my neck he presses me down onto the pillow.
"Anuj..."?
Catching my breath...
I pull the blanket over us until his whole being is over mine.
His kisses deepen with every moan and groans.
Our legs intertwined. My heart screaming sounds no one can hear, not even i can decipher...
"Anuj"
Landing wet pecks on my neck down to my novel, my being left streak naked off my saree.
It's on the floor of this darkened room.
It's peaceful...
Could be if I was not receiving to his thrusts, seeking balance off the headboard with interchanging love making session positions.
It's the classic, to the butterfly.
He flutters me to lengths I never remotely thought possible.
"Anuj"
It is clearly written in the way I read his name off my lips how fast I want him to go, how slow his thrusts should fill my sanctuary.
How his hands should search treasures of my body, how his eyes should stay fixated on mine.
"Anuj"
Accompanied by passion filled eyes, shakiness of mine and his body.
Till we both rest our breath...
The puddle filing my heart with lots of love.
It was safe after all.
. .
06:54 am
He watches Anupama lazily covered in bedsheet heading for the bathroom. He turns all over the room to realise the mess from last night.
