Maan Scene Stories (Anupama)

5

They fought since Anupama accused Anuj of having a 'relationship' with Maya she doubted was more than what they claimed it was. So Anuj is upset with her. It was a mistake she committed out of anger, she didn't mean it. But no mistake goes without punishment.

I have never fumbled so bad, it calls for prayers. Hiding under covers can not alleviate the level of embarrassment, naivety, god-forsaken selfish ways of mine.

I couldn't help it. If I love him, it's bound to happen. If you love anyone for that matter in a relationship there are bound to be rocky and troublesome bumps.

Just like mine today. Questioning his intention about his relationship with Maya, Anu Choti's real mother who has recently been a big, disturbing nightmare in our lives.

He seemed upset by my claims so much so that he left the house at the brink of the morning.

What else could he have done?

Anuj bottles his feelings and tosses them to the deepest parts of the oceans but, when he is mad and can no longer keep sealed his feelings, every glass wall shutters. His retreating from any and every situation whenever we fight causes a void in my heart. If he could talk to me, listen to my remorses.

It sound pathetic I know, like why say something you clearly know very well is going to upset the other person? Anger? No matter how agitated, devoured I could have been, he didn't deserve the accusations.

I prepare myself for the day I wish could end already. I shower and came back cleaned, made the bed. Even strengthening the corners of the bed sheets seem like a daunting task. I keep on tripping at every corner of the bed base, my mind is somewhere else...where Anuj might be suffocating at. He must be disgusted by me. How can I even look at myself after such an incident.

How do I get over this?

I walk out of our bedroom.

"Happy birthday Mommy!!". Little Anu sings and jumps up along with her balloons in her hands.

"These are for you". She hands them to me.

I can't look at her.

What if my fears come true. What if this is the last time I'm seeing and embracing her after which her mother takes her away from me.

I let go of her tiny being. She is a child so she doesn't take too much notice of my dejected self.

Maya appears at the corner of the living room but quickly retracks back to where she came from.

I sigh. This is going to be one long morning.

Usually I would, just like last time demand the biggest birthday celebration ever but I no longer care. If Anuj won't spend it with me. Neither will I nor anyone else in this family will celebrate.

Maya keeps her distance, just as long as she doesn't provoke my feelings, I won't find a reason to lash out at her, thereby maximizing chances of Choti Anu going away from us. So I need not act in an irrational manner. Let me keep my cool.

I blankly work through my kitchen pots and kettle, spices, knives and pans fixing what I may call dinner.

Three hours pass. The only interactions I've had were with Samar, discussing the Academy. Babuji discussing life and coyly asking for advice with my current situation. He understood and so he told me this,

"Anupama when two people really love each other they always find a way to make it work no matter how hard it is".

It seemed simple enough until he said again,