ᴅᴏᴘᴀᴍɪɴᴇ | ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇꜱ ʟᴇᴄʟᴇʀᴄ.

ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ | ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇꜱ.

❞ my eyes on your eyes

like peter pan up in the sky

my best friend's house tonight ❝ - tongue tied; grouplove.

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when i sensed her breathing relax, i picked her up. she was definitely asleep, but i was far from it. had i pushed too far tonight? only god and eve knew. same thing, i thought to myself. as i walked, she stirred in my arms. "charlie..." she mumbled.  "let me go, i can walk. can you drive me home?" she asked quietly. i set her down gently, my heart sinking as she hit the ground. "of course," i said. we walked to my car in silence. 

after a while of driving, i decided i couldn't take it anymore. "eve, was it too much tonight?" i asked finally, my words cutting the tension. she hummed, shaking her head. "no, but... i'm not ready. i mean, it's you and i, charlie... it's just never been this," she paused, turning up her palms. "open, i guess. i think it scared me a little," she explained. i swallowed the lump in my throat. "m sorry, valrose," i said quietly. my thoughts spiraled. i'd made her feel uncomfortable, and the guilt of that was already threatening to consume me. 

i pulled into her driveway finally, and when i braked, eve was already halfway out of the car. "night, charlie. i love you," she said quickly, not meeting my gaze. i nodded dumbly at her, and she shut the door. i waited until she was inside her house. when i was sure she was safe, i groaned, burying my head in my hands. fuck. i let myself fall apart for a few minutes. she'd flinched . she'd flinched away from me. the thoughts kept running through my head, threatning to pull me underneath wave after wave of guilt. i felt my chest heaving, desparate for air. "fucking hell, evangeline," i whispered to myself. stupid, stupid charles. why do you always have to fuck things up? sighing, i decided to text pierre- i need a drink.

i started driving, speeding my way to pierre's place. if there's one thing i needed right now, it was a fucking beer. the night air was warm, the breeze soft. it was like a fever dream, and for a moment i almost lost the feeling of guilt. almost. but it wasn't enough. in no time, i was turning into pierre's driveway. slamming my car door shut, i walked towards the entrence of the house. sure enough, pierre was already waiting at the door expectantly.

"you have a few minutes before the others get here- now talk," he commanded, shutting the door behind me. i blinked. "pierre-," i began to protest, but he scoffed. "either you tell me, or no drinks," he said firmly. "i know there's something going on- you haven't been yourself for the past two days," he finished, heading to the kitchen. i had no choice but to follow, sighing. "you know how eve and me have that contract thing going on?" i began, looking uncomfortable. pierre rolled his eyes, opening the fridge to grab two drinks. "you already fucked things up more than you did when you signed?" he asked. i opened my mouth to defend myself, but nothing came out. he nodded, scoffing. "thought so."

"we almost kissed," i blurted. pierre dropped his drinks. "what?," he said loudly. "it's been a day! how the fu-" he stuttered. i couldn't help but snort. "we didn't- she flinched away," i said. pierre paused, setting the drinks down. "why?" he asked carefully. i couldn't read the boy's expression, but i hastened to explain. "it wasn't forceful, or anything, but- she said that she wasn't ready to cross the line with me," i ranted, using finger quotations at crossing the line. "she flinched away when i went to hug her goodbye. flinched, pierre!," i groaned, sinking down onto the kitchen chair. pierre was quiet for the count of three. 

"mate, maybe it was too soon," he suggested. "i mean, come on! it's eve and you, it's always been like that, you know? maybe she's just scared," he said brightly. i rolled my eyes. "maybe," i conceeded. pierre opened his mouth, but the doorbell rang. saved by the bell, i thought. minutes later, george, alex, and lando came in loudly, talking and laughing. i forced a smile on my face, standing up to greet my friends.

george and alex imediately started chatting with pierre, and lando came up to me. smirking, he clapped me on the back. "hey, lando," i said. "cut the bull, charles- what's going on? you don't have to tell them, but i want to help," lando said earnestly. my heart warmed, but my head spun. i almost laughed at myself- was i that bad of a pretender? "thanks, lando," i said with a grin. "i'll keep it in mind, really," i said. lando smiled at me, holding out his hand for me to shake. i took it, shaking it firmly. "come on, let's go with them," he said cheerfully. i nodded, following him to where my friends were.

by the time one am rolled around, i was getting dizzy.