4 • Friends

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JULIAN REYES

At the end of my third class of the day, I was looking at nowhere but my fingers as I tried my best to avoid my seat mate.

He seemed to be a friendly and cool guy, but I just couldn't bring myself to engage in any conversation with him. It wasn't that I was unfriendly or unapproachable, but I had a deep-seated social anxiety that made interacting with other people incredibly difficult for me.

In my previous school, I had been relentlessly bullied for being me-for being gay which had made me extremely introverted, shy and a loner.

The experience had left me with a bit of trauma, and now, in my new school, I believed I was paranoid that I would end up being bullied again. And as a coping mechanism, I had become even more withdrawn and even developed a tendency to avoid people altogether.

My seatmate whose name I kind of remembered to be Axel, since he had told me that like about six time today in the span of three hours I have been here.

I am not exaggerating.

He really seems to really want to make friends with me....or maybe he is just trying to be friendly with the new kid who is sitting down beside him so has to not seem like a bad guy.

That's s thought kind of made me feel a bit down as I ended up not being able to make myself feel better, I looked up to realised the guys from earlier are still staring at me.

One of the guys smirked at me while another made a gagging sounds.

I felt my heart skipped a bit-not in the good way.

And I had no idea why. I could feel my anxiety kicking in as I felt my leg shaking up as I clenched my hands together. I looked away from them.

Why are they giving me this look? I feel like they hated me already even though I just met them less than four hours now.

When I realized I had started to feel overwhelmed, I took a deep breath as I stand up about to walk out of the class but was stopped by my seatmate.

"Where are you going?" Axel asked as he held my hand to get my attention. "You are having a class now, you should check your timetable to know what class you are supposed to go to. I can take you if you-"

I cut him off as I jerked my hand away from him walking out of the class trying my best to remain calm and composed. I had only recently transferred to this school, and the pressure to fit in was already getting to me this much.

Despite me always been quiet and reserved, it seemed like it only amplified this much when I was around others. I could still feel the eyes of my classmates on me, and it only made my skin crawls and my heart race with anxiety.

I needed a moment alone to think. Remembering I had noticed that a boys' restroom was close to my classroom in my school map, I hurriedly-almost running rushed down the hallway looking for it making me bumoed into someone.

"S-sorry" I muttered as I saw what I was looking for I rusged into the boys' restroom.

As I entered the restroom, I tried to hold back my tears as I stared at myself in the restroom wall mirror. Taking a look at my pale petite body with the small rimmed glasses now hanging loosely above the bridge of my nose.

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