What Now?

Sigh

I get into my daddy's car and he is starring at me but i just look out the window. "What was wrong honey?" He says all tense as he pulls away from the house.

"Noothing," i mumble and look more out the window.

"Well this morning my phone blew up," He drives and i nod my head. "Yeah I got a bunch of Facebook notifications."

I turn my head at him and he stares back at me. "I didnt do it!" I start to bawl again and he pulls over. "You know I dont abuse substances! Julie drugged me and then Carlos tried to do stuff with me but he was drunk too. Diana put a stop to that before we could ever do anything but somehow someone took the picture. I swear daddy i didn't do it. I just went to Julie's house and beat her up but its still out there. Please dont be mad at me!"

I start to snot on myself and my daddy leans across the seat, and pulls me close into his arms. he rubs my back and i just cry until he pulls away. "It'll be okay niña!" He pulls away from the side of the road and busts a u turn.

We're driving down the street really fast but i cant see past my tears. We stop moving pretty quick and my daddy hops out of the car. I look around and see Diana's car parked in the driveway so this must be julie's house. I wipe my eyes and poke my head out of his sunroof, as he bangs on her door. Her father opens the door with his nlond hair falling in his eyes and he obviously looks pissed off as well.

"Your fucking daughter put a picture of my daughter on facebook!" He yells at him.

"Your fucking daughter beat my daughters ass!" Her daddy yells back.

"Because she deserved it pinche cabron! She drugged my daughter and now there is a picture of my daughter all over Facebook!" He balls his fist up, which is never a good sign with him.

"Juie didnt do a damn thing. Your daughter who i've heard is a hoe several times before this incident from several high schoolers, just attacked my daughter because she couldnt control herself at a party and let some boy take advantage of her! Thats not my daughters fault and your daughter is a lowlife!" He flips his hair out of his face.

"Watch what you say about my daughter, pendejo! If i wasnt a grown man and could handle business without my fists youd be fucking toothless. I'M going to sue Julie for all the money i can get!" My father yells and bukes at him before spinning back towards the car.

I see Diana in the front room window and I glare at her, realizing where we stand. Julie walks up next to her, all black and blue, and smiles at me before stting the curtains. I sit back down in the car and my daddy gets in on his phone. He squeezes my knee as he starts the car and pulls away from the house. He yells at someone over the phone and i look out the window praying the car ride will end soon. We pull up to the house after a little bit and i hurry out of the car. I walk into the house and my little brothers are standing in the foyer. Levi stares at me and Ignacio begins to say something but i run into my room. I lock the door and walk down to my bed and flop down. I get on my phone and see all of my notifications and i see the tweets about me.

"Open up!" My momma bangs on the door but i just lay there rocking in my bed. "I know your not sleep. Its only 3 in the afternoon!"

"Vete! Leave me alone!" I yell at my door and my voice shakes.

"I just wanna talk!" she sighs and i roll my eyes. "Dont roll your eyes mija! Open the door!"

"I dont want to talk ma! Leave me alone!" I Yell again and grab my headpphones.

i lay down on my bed and listen to music, I start to reflect on how the hell this could happen to me when i've been mostly good. I never do drugs, i dont experiment with boys, i make great grades and i never talk back to my parents. I am a bonifide angel and its not fair. I mean yeah i've done stuff i shouldnt have and i come off like a bitch but i dont really deserve this. How am i going to deal with this tomorrow at school? I have this tough exterior and alot of self esteem but when people down me i get into this really weird stage were i do dumb things. If Julie, Diana, Haley, or Carlos even so much as whispers in my presence im going off. I look over at my pictures of Diana and I at homecoming last year, we looked so great. I pick my alarm clock up and throw it at the picture, it craches as it hits the floor.

"What was that?" Ignacio yells through the door.

"Esmerelda dont shut us out! We're here for you!" Silvester yells through the door and i roll my eyes. I swear he's gonnna be just like our momma when he gets older.

"Shut up! Leave me alone!" I yell back through the door.

"I swear she doesnt know how this affects us," i hear Levi says as he walks away from the door.

"Shut up!" Silvester mumbles but im already in flight to the door.

I'm cussing so fast i dont know if its in spanish or english but all i know is that Silvester has one arm and Ignacio has the other. Mis padres come out of where ever they are and Levi is satnding all the way by the door. I dont even notice the tears coming out of my eyes until my vision is blurred. I calm down and my momma tries to get me to do some psychological stuff but i just stare down Levi.

"Really Levi?" I ask him. "You think i didnt know it was going to affect everybody i'm related to? But at this moment in time you honestly think it'll effect you more than it does me?"

"i know it will.." He starts to explain but i cut him off.

"I cant believe como grande de un pendejo tu eres. I never ever ever would have said some stuff like that to you the day of the event! You are horrible," I shake my brothers off and our daddy looks at him. "Pinchete!"

I turn to go back n my room and i lock my door. I sit down on my bed and curl up in a ball, trying really hard not to cry. I feel my bed go down by my feet and i open my eyes to see My momma sitting on my bed. I sit up and she smiles at me.

"It wont be as bad as you think it wi;;," she says and i scoff.

"Sure it will. People are so twisted! I didnt do anything wrong but im going to get persecuted!" i wave her off.

"Will i know there is no use talking to you so just tell me how i can be here for you?" She puts her hands on my knees.

"Transfer my schools?" I smile and she sighs.

"I'm not going to do that."

"Well then you cant do anything for me madre! I just dont want to deal with a mess i didnt make!" i squeeze my pillow. "It's not fair!"

"It will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow or next week but it will get better!" She stands up to go.

"Thats all you gotta say? Great job," I roll over and she smacks my butt. "Ouch!"

"Watch yourself mija! I will still beat that ass!" she says as she walks out the door.

"Bitch," I mumble and close my eyes.

I wake up and my entire room is dark, i look for my alarm clock but then i remember i threw it. I grab for my phone and see that my daddy blew my phone up and its only 10 at night. I ignore the texts and notifications not checking any sense this whole incident has began. I get up and wash my face before walking upstairs into the kitchen, where nobody is of course. I make me two peanut butter jelly egg sandwich with a blueberry and mango smoothie, cutting me a half of the red velvet cake my momma made. I eat all my food and skip back downstairs when i hear my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I sigh sitting down on my bed.

"Esmerelda why havent you answered any of my calls?" my daddy bombards me with questions.

"I was sleep, why are.." I respond but he doesnt let me finish.

"Why the hell are you putting pictures of yourself on Facebook? Thats not okay at all and your so closet to getting disowned! Get your shit together because no daughter of mine is going to be a little whore! Comprende?" He yells into the phone and the tear come back up.

"si. Me entendo," I cry and he hangs up.