more than just annoying

He's So Annoying

--Mon, 21.09.--
Dear diary,
today at school he caught me in front of the vending machine again. Offered to buy me a drink. I said i got it covered.
Jenna rushed in to save me, she's such an angel. And he's so annoying.
In English we'll start reading a new book by some old dude. Can't remember the name right now.
I went and picked it up at that new bookstore after school.

--Tue, 22.09--
Dear Diary,
this morning on the bus, he sat next to me. I don't really know why. He just talked to me about English and put his hand on my thigh. I shoved it off twice, but then gave up. It's only a 15 minute ride to school after all. And he's just a little annoying.

--Fri, 25.09.--
Dear diary,
the thing on the bus seems to be a daily occurrence now. I talked to Lindsey about it and she called me lucky. She'd apparently love it if the football captain had his hands all over her. Well I don't.
Mom made her famous beetroot soup today, and aunt Kathy came over for dinner. I also finally started my biology paper.

--Thu, 01.10--
Dear diary,
sorry that it's almost been a week since I last wrote in here. Jenna came over to my place for the first time yesterday after school. We made cookies together, it was really fun. Tho we accidentally bought the wrong kind of chocolate and had to improvise a bit.
We also talked a lot. I told her about what had been happening with you-know-who on the bus, and she was quite furious at him. Said something about how he always just takes whatever he wants and gets away with it. I told her he's just annoying, and that he'll probably get tired and go away if we just ignore him.
Then she said something that kind of stuck with me, that he's more than annoying, that he's dangerous.

--Fri, 02.10--
Dear diary,
I took the early bus today, mostly because I needed to hand in my biology paper, but also because it meant I'd get a peaceful bus ride for once. Didn't expect what happened next.
I stood in front of my locker, the hallway was still kind of empty, when he came up to me. Asked me where I'd been this morning. He stood really close to me, pressed me against the locker by my shoulder, and said: huh, forgot how to talk? I asked you a question.
Honestly, I might well have forgotten how to talk in that moment. I just froze up, unable to move at all.
Then he said something else, but I wasn't really listening. He was just so big and intimidating.
Somehow I got out and saved myself to the restroom. Locked myself in a stall and cried a bit. Don't really know why, I mean nothing really happened, right? Then went to class and luckily didn't see him for the rest of the day.

--Sun, 04.10--
Dear diary,
Jenna was right.

Almost everyone from school was at Colin's birthday party yesterday. You know, the brown haired muscly dude from year 12. Me and Lindsey were there too. Jenna had wanted to come, but her mom made her watch her little brother instead.
After just half and hour Lindsey had left me to go upstairs with some dude from the football team, they were probably making out. I stood in front of the buffet and thought about what drink I'd get next. I hadn't planned on having a lot of alcohol that evening.
Then, of course, he showed up.
Put his arm around me and asked me to come sit with him and his friends. I didn't wanna make a scene, so I tagged along.
I was the only girl in the room. There wasn't really space to sit down anymore, so he asked me to sit on his lap. I said nah thanks. I'll just go find a chair. He pulled me onto his lap, and said I need to chill. Well I wasn't chill. One of his hands touched my butt and the other one was on my lap to keep me from getting up.
I drank a few rounds with him. Well, him and his friends made me. At this point, I couldn't think clearly anymore.
I think he took me to some other room. I tried to get away, but wasn't strong enough, and couldn't think enough anymore to figure out a way out. Oh how I hate being drunk. I decided to just get it over with. He wouldn't let off before getting what he wanted.
Sorry, I'm crying right now. I don't think I should finish writing this right now. I just wanted it to be over with.

--Tue, 06.10--
Dear diary,
I've not been to school in two days. Mom keeps asking me what's wrong, as if I'd tell her. Jenna texted me so many times, I think she knows what happened.

--Wed, 07.10--
Dear diary,
this morning Jenna just showed up in front of my window. I let her in. We sat there silently for a minute. Then she asked me wheter he- I nodded.
She asked if I want a hug. It was a long and tear filled hug.

--Thu, 08.10--
Dear diary,
Today, we went to the school counselor together. I told her what had been happening these past weeks. I told her what happened at the party. Jenna held my hand all throughout the whole thing. I don't know if I would've been brave enough for this without her.
But no, I won't be silenced, people need to hear what he did. I can't let him do this to anyone else.
He is dangerous. He's so so much more than annoying.
Jenna and I plan to start a program at our school. Something to educate about stuff like this. And no, I don't think it all happened for a reason. There's no reason for behavior like this, and i won't excuse it. But I'll own my story. Somehow. I'm not alone and I'll figure it out.