Soul Quest

Chapter 25

Liv/ Beau

Time - February 18, 2015

Place - Jedd's house

Queens, New York/ Arcadia

"Love is the condition in

which the happiness of

another person is essential

to your own."

- Robert Heinlein

Liv

Instead of calling Jedd this time I decided to go to his house. It was almost seven o' clock so I knew he would be home from his job at his uncle's book store. As usual it was cold but the wind was still tonight making the winter's air bearable. He pulled on his heavy winter coat as he cautiously stepped through the front door and sat on the porch steps. His eyes did not watch me as I walked up his driveway but I knew he was aware of me. It was almost as if he knew I was coming.

"Do you have premonitions too?" I teased.

"That's very funny. I just know you, Liv." he tried to smile but his heart wasn't in it.

He was quiet. We sat on the steps in silence for several minutes as I wondered what I should say to him. I wanted to know if he blamed me for what happened to Melissa and Jesse. He didn't seem to hate me and I was grateful for that. He didn't even seem angry. What did he seem? Maybe sad, overwhelmed or confused, perhaps he felt all of the above. It would be perfectly understandable. Before I could decide which question to ask first he asked one of his own.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He looked directly in to my eyes. As I stared back into his I could feel the accusation in them. I wanted to look away from the hurt I saw imbedded in the depths of his steely blue eyes but I didn't dare. I needed my best friend to know that my feelings for him had not changed just because my world had.

"I'm still here, Jedd. I always have been." I whispered.

He seemed to search my face for a moment more before he looked away.

"I know... but it hurts to know that you didn't trust me enough to tell me." he said with his eyes fixed on the concrete steps.

Trust him? How could he think this was about trust?

"Is that what you think?" I asked in disbelief.

He only shrugged. His eyes remained focused on his feet.

"Jedd this isn't about trust. Of course I trust you." I began.

"Well, what is it about, Liv?" he demanded.

His now stormy gray blue eyes returned to mine in frustration. He was trying so hard to understand all of this. This is exactly why I had not told him. I couldn't bear to watch him suffer. I could feel the sting of tears forming against my eyelids.

"I wanted to protect you, not burden you. It's not fair." I said.

"Great. You think I'm a wimp." he laughed with out humor.