Fall... [Billie Eilish Fanfic]

Chapter six

Billie's pov:

Lexi was curled up in my bed next to me. I couldn't tell if she liked the show or not. Whenever there would be an awkward situation - which was often - she would cover her ears and close her eyes. She told me to tell her when it was over. Then I'd pause and explain to her what had happened.

You would think it got annoying at some point but it didn't. That way, I could get in to all that nerdy stuff you realize when you have watched it like 10 times. And she was always so invested in what I was telling her. She was so cute. Then she would ask questions and I would always give her the looooong answer just because I knew she would listen.

We reached the end of season 1. And I paused. She looked at me confused.

"Sooooo what do you think?" I asked her

"Well. I like it. I think.."

"You think?" I said confused

"Yeah well I do. I do like it, but it's just always so awkward!"

"Yea dude. That's literally the funny part!"

"It's not funny it's awkward!"

"So you don't really like it?"

"Noo. I do I wanna know what comes next I just don't like watching the awkward scenes" she tried to explain herself.

"That makes no sense!"

"Yes it does!"

"Alright." I said laughing.

She turned to the screen again thinking we would continue watching.

"Do wanna do something else?" I asked her.

"Like what?" She said returning her attention to me.

"I don't know. Talk?"

"Kay. What do you wanna talk about?"

"Wow. Really putting me on the spot here."

"Sorry" she laughed

"Ummm what was your favorite interview you've ever done?" She looked at me suddenly serious.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about that. I just you know... do them." I shrugged

"You never gotten a question where you went like: that is the best question I've ever been asked?"

"Nope. But that is a weird ass question."

"I think I make good questions"

"Right" I said ironically.

"Stop that. I do!"

She slapped me playfully. I flinched. I don't know why it didn't hurt at all.
Her smile went away.

"I'm sorry did it hurt? I didn't mean to I-"

"No no. I don't know why I did that. It didn't hurt at all." I interrupted her.

She looked me deep in my eyes like she could see if I was lying in there.

"I promise!" I said trying to convince her.

"You sure? Cuz you also did it at the bar."

Fuck. She did notice. Well I couldn't tell her. She wouldn't understand. She would just assume it was Calvins fault like everyone else when it wasn't. It was not all his fault. It was my fault too. I could just be a better girlfriend and he wouldn't feel the way he did. Do the things he does.

"Billie?" She snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry"

"Are you sure you're okay?" She tried to make eye contact but I didn't let her.

"You know you can tell me right?" She then said.

And for a second I thought to myself that it was that easy. Just telling her it all. Telling her what I hadn't told anyone.

"I-" I couldn't finish the sentence before the tears filled my eyes and my voice cracked. Guess I couldn't really get myself out of this one now. There was no way she would believe me if I said I was okay now. I tried anyway.

"I'm okay" yea no. No one is ever gonna believe that.

"Billie it's very clear that you're not. I can just listen if you want. I won't say anything.

When she said that I bawled. I proceeded to tell her everything. About Calvin, about my scars, about my thoughts, about my notebook, about my fame. Literally about everything.

And just as she said she would she didn't say a word. Which I both loved and hated. When I was done and all there was left was tears she pulled me into a hug.

We sat there for long. I don't know how long but long. And as I thought about I had barely known this girl for 24 hours and she was now the person who knew everything about me. I felt weird but also just so natural. It's hard to explain she just made me feel safe. Safe to tell it all to her.

Lexi's pov:

As I sat with billie curled up in my lab my brain was silent. The only sentence in my mind was: "what the actual fuck?!". I don't know that just seemed fitting. Because what the fuck happened to my life? to think that yesterday I had no idea what was about to go down was crazy. I meet a celebrity at a party. She spills her drink on me. She lends me HER shirt. We facetime the same night. And now I'm in her house. In her room. In her bed. With her on my lab. What the actual fuck?

But not in a bad way. Just in a what-the-hell-is-going-on way. She was the same age as me. And for some reason it felt so unreal to be her friend. She shared all her thoughts with me. Everything. And it made me wanna do the same. to show her that I trusted her just as much. Because the trust she must have had in me to tell me everything is incredible. but most of all i wanted to cry. Cry because i couldn't believe how much she had to deal with.

And I did cry. I cried a whole lot but didn't let her know. Let her see. That was her moment, not mine. Her turn to get it all out, and some other time it will be mine. I wish more people understood that. I luckily had Olivia and Em. But I didn't know if Billie had one. Maybe Finneas. I don't know but I could make sure she at least had one.

As my thoughts was all over the place I looked down and noticed the tears had dried on her cute pink cheeks. Her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted. She was so pretty. Imagine being stunning even when you cry.

I carefully scoop my hand under her neck and the other on her back and slowly lift her from my lab and onto the bed. I took a pillow and layed her perfect head on it. Pulled up the duvet and tucked her in careful not to wake her.

I was just about to leave as it probably would be weird to just watch her sleep. But I stopped myself. Because how would she feel if she just woke up and I wasn't there? If I had just left her. After she shared all that. Yea no. I layed down beside her. Also I didn't want to creep around in their house. I'd rather act like I fell asleep. 1000%.

But before I knew it I didn't even have to act like it. Something so calm about her room. I just couldn't stay awake.

A/n:

I know that was kinda fast but I got bored and figured you probably did too so now billie opened up. Anyways there is a lot more trauma left to unpack.

Also I won't be going as much into detail about what billie is going through in this book since Lexi is the main character. Unless you guys want it another way :)

1273 words

See ya! <3