Loving Lord Bridgerton

Chapter Six

I kept replaying my last discussion with Anthony over and over again. It was like I was forcing myself to relive it over and over again and every time it just seemed to get worse having to think of it.

I quickly turned away, trying to fight the nervous warm feeling building in the pit of my stomach. "Do you-..." I quickly shook my head, cursing myself for even starting to ask.

"Do I what?" Anthony asked and I shook my head again.

"No matter. I must go." I said before practically running out of the room. I know it wasn't my best move, but it was the only think my fuzzy brain could think of.

I regretted not asking the question I dismissed before. Especially after learning he had talked with his mother. If I had asked more questions than maybe I would be stuck so confused. I should have done something.

I quickly turned away, trying to fight the nervous warm feeling building in the pit of my stomach. "Do you-..." I quickly shook my head, cursing myself for even starting to ask.

"Do I what?" Anthony asked and I shook my head again.

I held my breath, looking into his eyes. He looked down at me and I felt like he was seeing into my soul. "Do you ever think of those nights?"

"I've thought of those times many times." He only had to take one final step to be only inches away from me. If someone were to walk it, it could be seen as the wrong way. But I didn't care. "And I..."

"You what?"

Anthony quickly shook his head. "I must go." He said before rushing out of the room.

Then it was ruined all over again. If I did say something, he would run away. If I didn't say anything, I am the one running away. We are always running away from each other. It's probably the only thing we will ever be able to agree on. The biggest thing that didn't help my brain was his constant disappearance. He was leaving all the time and I had no idea where he was going. Not knowing didn't bother me before, but that was because he always came back. Now, he was spending all day away and with who knows...that's what killed me.

Had I wanted to go to a party the next night? Not even a little. But I needed something to keep my mind off of my own horrible thoughts. Thoughts that I needed to get rid of. When I first stepped into the party, it was nothing special. Which only led me to continue to think about the one person I can't have. Until, shockingly, I found someone to distract me. Lord Arthur Withers. He wasn't that much tall than me, green eyes, and black hair. He was older than me, but not too much that I wanted to run from him. It was his smile. It was so wide and filled with happiness that I couldn't stop myself from smiling with him. We had danced and then I had joined him for a walk around the dance floor. "I hope I haven't wasted your time at this ball." Lord Wither's said, making me look at him confused.

"Why would you think that?"

"You are the talk of the ball. Every man I have spoken to wishes to have a dance with you."

"Well, I have yet to find many that are as interesting as you."

"I hope by interesting you mean good. I'd hate for that to be something bad." He was so delightful in most of our conversation. Everything was so light to talk.

"If it were bad, why would I tell you?" I asked.

"Maybe you are the honest sort."

"Honest? I am. Ill-bred? I am not. Nor am I rude."

"I should have known. I offer my apologizes." His apologizes were filled with nothing, but good nature.

"No need. I rather like a man that can speak freely to a woman and who I can speak freely with."