Tracy Abernathy.

Im sorry

OKAY SO
Huge Trigger warning for Self harm, suicide , hospital, graphic details,fainting,
If you struggle or are uncomfortable with any of these DO NOT READ.
I will put a short summary that is non graphic next chapter!!! ❤️❤️❤️
If you are having thoughts about any of this feel free to message me. You are not alone.
Tracy POV
i got home from yet another day at my shitty school I was exhausted which some people think would be odd when i don't talk to anyone at school or pay attention. Finn and everyone else from the lab had set up a little crime lab in the living room and kitchen.
"Hey Tracy how was school?" Finn asked,
"good" I said quickly and went down the hall to my room.
I rennet going to the bathroom and seeing Finn's razor on the counter. I picked it up and hit it against the counter causing one of the blades to pop out and land on the counter. I set it down and picked up the blade.
6 months, I had been clean but there I was pressing it into the scarred skin of my wrist, replacing scars with cuts. Before I could realize what I was about to do I pressed harder and blood was now slowly pouring out of my wrist.
I stumbled back and hit the wall and practically fell down. I started to feel light headed and I grabbed my wrist causing more pain to rip through my body.
I heard Finn call my name from the living room and I pulled myself up and quickly wrapped a bandage around my wrist and put on a hoodie and washed my hands. I walked into the kitchen, I felt like k was about to faint. The case was about so teenager from West Virginia who ran away and was found chopped up in a ditch and he asked where I would go if I ran away. I didn't realize I was swaying back and forth because I'm lightheaded.
"You feeling okay?" He cut me off.
"Hm? Oh yeah" I replied and faked a smile,
"You sure? Come here" he said and I noticed how everyone was worried and stood up.
I sighed and let go of the counter and began to walk- stumble to the living room and the next thing or ember I was the floor and then there were sirens and someone crying then I woke up. In the hospital.
My mouth was dry but I couldn't swallow, there was a tube shoved down my throat so I could breath, blood and medication going into me and a doctor tan over to me and I heard a click and all of sudden I felt an entire tube being pulled out of my throat and tears filled in my eyes and a bin was placed in front of me and I wasn't sure why until threw up.
The squint rushed into the room.
"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked an apologetic slight smile on her face.
"Um... not good" I said nearly breaking down.
"Can you rate your pain level on a scale from 1-10 please"
" ... " I looked at Finn then back at the doctor.
"7" I replied to her question but in reality my body doesn't hurt as much as it probably should. My brain does. My chest does. It feels like. Quicksand. I feel like if I let out another breath my body will fall through the floor and it feels like my heart is frozen,
Delicate but hard to break.
"When can I leave" I asked.
"We recommend keeping you overnight and then if your parent or guardian approves of it you will be admitted to the Washington state mental hospital for 6-8 weeks" the doctor explained.
"Will she still be able to talk to people while she is there?" Finn asked.
"Doesn't matter I'm not going"  I said standing up.
"Tracy" Finn said looking at me.
"Are you her guardian?" The doctor asked setting down her clipboard.
"No but I'm brother!"
" a legal guardian is in charge of what happens to Tracy from now on we called her mom and dad and it went to voicemail. If Tracy does not want to receive mental care we cannot force her without permission. She is physically stable and has no other injuries there for she can be discharged although since we cannot get ahold of her parents and you are not a legal foster parent Tracy can either spend the night in a group home or have an officer of law enforcement with her at all times and have people remove anything she can use to hurt/harm herself in her home." She explained.
"She's 14 she can't make that decision" Finn argued.
"I'm FBI I'll stay with her and everything" booth jumped.
"Okay, can i please just go home now" I asked.
"No!" Finn argued.
I was unhooked from the blood bag and put in a room with nothing it and got changed, they gave me sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt that was so thin it was practically see through.
"Tracy I don't think that you should be at home after what you tried to do-" Finn explained but I don't know but I was angry. Not at him at me and i guess it's all just now hitting me what my parents have done to each other and me.
"don't!" I said picking up my stuff.
"I'll drive you home" Finn said standing up.
"I'll meet you there" booth said.
"What no your like actually staying with me ALL the time" I said confused.
"Well yeah that's the option you chose kid" booth smiled slightly.
"So I won't be alone. Ever?"
"No you have to have someone with you at all times" Finn explained.
Tears filled my eyes, daring to slip. I picked up my phone and bag of my clothes and soon enough I was home. With everybody coming inside to help "clean out" the place.
I didn't mean too. I couldn't stop.
*not proof read*