Adrift

Chapter 7

The current continues to pull the boat forward but the sky has clouded over. The boy looks around to see the waves are growing larger and that even darker clouds are forming up ahead. Lightning flashes across the sky making the boy flinch and cower in the small boat. He is scared of the storm ahead but has no way to avoid it. The boy closes his eyes as rain begins to fall.

***

I headed to school at my usual time. Koro texted me last night saying she was still sick. I didn't remember giving her my phone number, but figured Ryou gave it to her at some point. Since Koro wasn't going to be in school, I walked past the usual spot where we meet up and didn't stop until I got to Ryou's meeting point. She was always late so I wasn't surprised that she wasn't there yet.

The time that Ryou usually shows up came and went. I looked up the street towards her house as though I could see all the way there. Since it was up a hill, I could only see the first few houses. Maybe she was up earlier than usual and went on without me. I didn't think it was likely, but the longer the idea was in my head the more I was convinced it was true. A few minutes later, I started walking again.

The walk to school somehow felt lonelier than it had ever been. My head was filled with negative thoughts the entire trip making me doubt Ryou and Koro were ever friends with me. Maybe they got bored of me. It's not like I am adding much to the group. She could have gotten up early as a way to tell me without telling me. Does that mean Koro isn't my friend anymore either? Is that why she texted me this morning instead of Ryou? Why else would she tell me directly? She has never texted me before.

The downward spiral continued in my mind all morning. I barely even noticed the other students around me and they didn't pay me any attention as usual. My eyes looked forward but were unfocused on the chalkboard. I mindlessly drifted from class to class on autopilot, remaining stuck in my head even as the bell rang for lunch.

It was raining again when the time came for lunch. I ended up going to the garden anyway. When the rain hit my face I finally became aware of my surroundings. Of course, Ryou wasn't in the garden, either. I pulled out my phone and brought up my texts with Ryou. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute as I struggled to come up with anything to say to her. I was never one to bother people and she could always text me first. If Ryou didn't want me around, I wasn't going to confront her about it.

I found a bench under an awning and sat down to eat my lunch. My phone is still in my hand, but I put it away once I was seated. I stared out into the rain as I half-heartedly ate my sandwich and tried not to think about anything. It didn't take long for the negative thoughts to invade my mind again. I continued eating without really tasting any of the food as I was lost in my own thoughts and insecurities. As I began to pack up and head back to class, my phone made a sound alerting me to a new text message from Ryou. I was happy to see she had messaged me until I read it.

"Will be busy after school again today, sorry."

"Ok cool"

I looked at my response before sending it. I could ask her what's going on. Or where she is for lunch. Does this mean we are still friends? Maybe bringing it up is a bad idea? I stared at the screen for several more seconds before sending the message as originally written. I didn't feel it was worth risking anything to follow up with such questions. I put the phone back in my pocket and returned to class.

By the time school ended, the rain had stopped but the sky was still overcast. I barely noticed as I walked home alone again. I didn't even try to wait for Ryou this time. It's not that I didn't want to see her, but I was in a bad mood. I definitely wasn't in a social mood. As I came to my street, I stopped and looked towards home. I had zero motivation to go that way. I turned back towards the way I was heading and continued walking.