For Beth or Worse

Chapter One

It was another day in the office. Nothing exciting ever happens here. Being an interior designer has its perks, but when your boss thinks you're too 'safe', you aren't given many exciting opportunities. You are stuck around a tiny desk, filing papers and following up on clients.

"So....how's the guy search coming along?"

I nearly jump from my seat. "Monique! You could have given me some warning!"

She hissed her teeth. "Stop dodging the question, Beth. You seriously need a man. If you can't find one, I can surely hook you up." She winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "The men in your circle do not meet the criteria of my 'perfect man list', so no, thank you."

Monique's eyes widened. "You're still using that?"

When we both started college, we decided to make a list of the characteristics of our perfect man. I kept that list and have never dated anyone unless they ticked all or most of my boxes.

"Of course. It is the law...my law. If I can't find a guy who ticks all my boxes, I'm staying single forever."

Monique pulled the chair from the neighboring cubicle and sat directly in front of me. She sighed. "Ok. Let's make a deal. Come with me to the club this Saturday, and if you can't find a guy you like, then you're free to stick to your list."

"I'll think about it."

"Is that a yes or no?"

"It's a 'think about it'. Are you getting paid to interrogate me?"

"Beth, you are 25 years old. You need a man...by Saturday." She leaned closer and whispered, "At least get a man to clear out all the cobwebs from your cunt."

I gawked at her. This girl has no filter whatsoever. I have no idea how we are still friends. We are opposites.

She walked back to her desk swinging her hips as her six-inch heels clanked on the marble floors. Her pencil skirt hugged her hips at all the perfect angles. No wonder she always gets the big projects. Her image is perfect. Perfect hair, perfect dark skin, perfect hair... everything just perfect.

I, on the other hand, was barely average. My porcelain skin lacked luster because I failed to keep up with my skincare routines, I didn't put much thought into the outfits I put together, heels did not feel comfortable and makeup didn't need to be invented because I never used any. I pride myself on being all-natural.

My perfect man is out there, and I will be just perfect for him. He's out there saving himself for a natural, non-materialistic girl.

My phone buzzed. It was a text from my Mom. I groaned as I opened my Whatsapp account. I hope she's not texting to bother me about finding a guy.

Mom: Hey. Beth. Good news 🤬

I chuckled before I texted back. My mother never used the right emojis. I have a feeling she doesn't even know what they mean. 

Me: I'm kinda busy at work. What's the news?

Mom: It's your sister. Derrick popped the question!! 😭

The phone slid from my grip and landed on the table with a thud. I took a few deep breaths, but I could still feel my hands starting to shake.

Derrick and my younger sister, Juliana, have been dating for a little over a year now. They seem like a solid couple from my point of view. They never argue, and he's always buying her gifts and complimenting her. It shouldn't come as a surprise that he would propose so soon.

I groaned to myself. It's not that I'm not happy for her but she's my younger sister. My younger sister. She should be the one coming to me for advice on love, marriage, and relationships, not the other way around. Now she's getting married and I don't even have a plus one to attend the wedding with.

Should I call and congratulate her?

No. She should call me and give me the good news, right? That's the proper thing to do.

It was almost five PM, and with only an hour left, I decided to clear my head and get some work done. I don't think it's possible to have a clear head right now, but I'm going to try.

At five minutes to six, I packed my things and walked over to Monique's cubicle. She was also packing up to go.

"What club are we going to? I need to get drunk tonight."

Her eyes bulged. "B-Beth, what happened? Is everything alright with you?"

"Weren't you the one who said I should loosen up? Find a guy to clear out my cobwebs." I air quoted.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes. I'm sure." My voice sounded anything but ok.

"Sit down," Monique commanded, and I plopped my butt onto her table.

"What happened in the last hour?" She stared into my eyes... into my soul.

"Derrick proposed to Julie." I blurted.

Monique does that weird blushing thing she does when she's about to scream with excitement.

"Oh my goodness!" She held both cheeks in her palms. "That is awesome! I'm so happy for her. I just love love. I'm going to call and congratulate her."

My face must have looked quite morbid. "Or I won't call her?" She looked skeptically at me. "Are we not happy for her?"

"Aaarrrrgggg! I don't even know. I'm happy for her. It's just that hearing that she's engaged makes me so... depressed." I rambled on since Monique chose to keep quiet.

I stood up and dragged my feet as I paced around the cubicle. "Am I a selfish person?"

Monique shook her head. "No - No, you're not. But why does it make you feel depressed?"

I sighed. "I'm the older one, Mo. She's my baby sister. I'm supposed to find love first, right? I don't even have a boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend for years. All I do is work and go back to my apartment. What kinda life is that?"

My breaths came in short and quick. Monique remained silent as I calmed down. I didn't need her to say anything. I knew the truth....the real and raw truth: I am hopeless.

"If you ladies are finished, I need to clean this area."

I jumped, and Monique laughed. I saw the janitor give me a look from the corner of his eye. He must have heard me talking about my sister and thought I was a horrible person.

"Let's get some donuts and coffee and have a talk, shall we?" Monique took up her things and led the way.

I hissed my teeth. "I still think we should hit the club tonight."

"Chill out, girl. It's Thursday. Just two more days, then you can go wild." Monique laughed as we exited the building.

This was going to be a long and stressful few days.