the one where they're hopeless

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CAIUS SCAEVOLA: UNIVERSE #727,461,931

"Get off that," Prima scolded, observing the black cat on the counter next to the stove before reaching over and nudging Binx with her knuckle. The cat hit the floor with a thud before pattering off.

An alarm sounded in the kitchen, followed by the scraping of a dining chair against the kitchen floor. "I gotta go, or I'll be late." Caius whispered, lifting his plate and setting it on the counter next to the sink.

"Is Paul picking you up?" Paul's carpool was a bit abysmal, since technically Paul didn't have his license yet and the ride was always filled with his mom yelling at him for making stupid decisions.

"No, walking." Caius gave her a small smile, picked his backpack off the floor, and exited out the backdoor. Taking alley's was always faster, and he liked to get to school early.

As every morning went, Caius was eventually forced to leave the seclusion of the back-alley's and enter society by walking on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, this meant that Lyra Pugh could spot him at any given moment.

On his way to school this morning, he was intercepted by the distinct sound of Lyra shouting "Get your ass in the car!", and then there was a vehicle screeching to a halt in front of him.

Caius stared, dumbfounded. Lyra didn't have her license yet either, but her parents had too many kids to truly keep track of whether Lyra had taken the car or if someone else had done it. "Morning, Pugh."

"Hey, babe." Lyra gave him a toothy-grin, chewing her gum obnoxiously (because she knew he hated it). "You gonna get in?"

"Do I have a choice?" Caius questioned, rounding to the passenger door and flopping into it. Lyra started moving before he got the door shut properly. He feared for his safety on any morning that Lyra saw him walking.

By the time they had pulled into the school parking lot, Lyra had launched into a great rant about Allison's drama (since Lyra normally stayed out of it, all the drama Caius ever heard of was second hand).

"And so Alli tells this guy that he's the one, right?" Lyra clicks her tongue as she grabs her backpack from the backseat, where she'd deposited it. "And then she turns around and hooks up with Nick!"

"Nick who?" Caius frowned, getting out of the car slowly and swinging his backpack around so he was wearing it properly.

"Nick who?" Lyra mocked, slamming her car door behind her. "Leatherwood, obviously. You know another fuckable Nick?"

"Cranton?"

"He looks like my fucking grandpa."

"Which one?"

"The dead one."

"You're foul."

"Anyways—" Lyra huffed, beginning the slow walk towards the school entrance. "She totally fucked Marcus over."

"Marcus is the one she said was like...the one?"

"Yeah. And he still doesn't know that she fucked Nick." Lyra shook her head, running her hand through her hair. "It's so messy. That's why I don't fuck with guys like that. One day she's gonna wrong a serial killer and I'll tell you what, I'm not planning the funeral."

"That'll probably fall on her parents." Caius pointed out, raising his eyebrows at Lyra as she spat her gum out into a trashcan they passed.

"Unlucky schmucks."

The remaining morning "Office Hours" passed uneventfully. Lyra ditched him to go to the Choir room (because she was "utterly dedicated" this year) and he found himself in the auditorium, waiting it out until first period.

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