Beyond the lights - Troyler AU

Chapter 8

Troye POV

In my life I have been kissed countless times in any and every way that a person can be kissed. I've had sweet kisses; passionate kisses; lustful kisses and affectionate kisses but nothing came close to the devastating effect that Tyler's kisses seemed to have on me. I mean he was a good kisser, sure. No doubt about that. But that wasn't it. It was more than just simply a matter of technique or even attraction.

When I had first kissed him in the parking lot of my hotel I had known he was different. Instantly. He was special somehow. A simple touch from him making me feel more alive than the multitude of bodies in whose sensual embrace I had found myself entwined over the last couple of years.

I think maybe that was part of it. That he wasn't just another body; another faceless guy. He was the guy who had saved me, as disgustingly cliché as that was.

The moment he had took my hand and hauled me off that balcony edge he had pierced a hole through my carefully constructed walls. Yet I was afraid that if he kept tugging at the foundations as determinedly as he seemed to be doing at the moment, then the walls would come tumbling completely down, ripping me to shreds as they did so.

I had said the words 'it meant nothing' to myself so many times that it no longer sounded like English anymore. The irony was the very fact that I had been trying to convince myself that it was nothing showed that I very much cared. I didn't want to care though.

I could still feel the imprint of his touch on my skin as if he had branded me with every tiny caress of his fingers against my jaw, every brush of his lips against mine.

This was the second time we had kissed and we had only known each other for a matter of days. It was like we were two opposite magnetic poles and if we got too close to one another, the intangible field of force between our bodies pulled us together.

This time I couldn't ignore though that it was different. That he was different. And it was a terrifying realization.

Tyler wasn't even my usual type. He was completely different to the boys I usually went for. He'd completely blindsided me in that respect. But maybe just maybe, a little voice inside my head said, he was the exact person I had been looking for without even knowing I was looking for them.

Tyler was like a torch in the darkness. His entire being exuded light and warmth; the world seemed so much brighter in his presence and that much more beautiful. But I was deathly afraid that if I opened my heart to him he would set it ablaze as surely as if someone had doused it in gasoline. After all if you play with fire you are sure to get burned.

If there was one thing I had learnt from my time in the spotlight was that people were inherently selfish. Everybody had an ulterior motive. I'd seen too many painted smiles and enough false admiration to last me a last time. If someone was going to be stabbing someone in the back then I'd rather be the one holding the knife.

The only person who I could truly rely on was gone. A lump rose to my throat at the thought.

Besides how much did I really know about him?

I could tell you barely anything about his upbringing, his friends or his life. The real substantial facts of Tyler Oakley. But yet I felt as though I knew him infinitely better than I knew anybody else.

I knew that when he was nervous he would turn his feet inwards and balance on the side of his shoes. I knew that he was useless at taking complements and that when he was embarrassed he would clasp his hands in front of his face to try and hide his blush. I knew each nuance of his subtle but distinctly-Tyler lisp.