To end it all

On this god forsaken world

AN: I'll say it again, the story is gonna a bit uh... not for kids. Yes, let's go with that. Anyhow I will find you personally if you are reading this while being under 14 years old. With that out of the way, enjoy the darkish story that I got motivation by trying to think of the plot on my other draft book.

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Entry 1,

This is the first day of me writing a journal, well first time in general but that's beside the point. I'm not looking forward to my upcoming therapy session. I started this journal to express the horrific shock of finding out my wife had been cheating while I was working so hard to provide for us. I feel like cracking jokes is futile; discovering her betrayal was like a living nightmare. It turns out she had been involved in an affair for the past two months, and she hadn't even attempted to hide it.

So, to summarize: I left the house with my belongings and some money before relocating out of state. The following days were spent drinking heavily, though I was surprised at my ability to remain abstinent from alcohol. Before I knew it, weeks had gone by and a few days ago I was considering suicide. This world sure does love to see me suffer; I was about to jump when a random teenage kid suddenly appeared and grabbed my arm, shouting for help. Out of nowhere, a large group of people came to my rescue, yanking me back up off the ground. Talk about incredible...

Though I'm not overweight, I am decently muscular, more than enough to fight off a burglar. The teenager was so thin that I was shocked his arm could withstand the wait until people came. The ambulance arrived promptly and took me in; before I knew it, I was being released from the hospital with instructions to see a therapist three days later. That's all for day one - who knows if this journaling venture will make me feel better or worse?
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"So, Miss Aki, why the tears? We've barely gotten to the first page yet, so why are you bawling?" The suited man stared at her from across the table while he spoke. "I-I didn't know..." she mumbled, her tears staining the pages laid out before them. Suddenly, his expression shifted from stoic to enraged as he slammed his fist onto the desk between them. "You didn't know?! That's your ex-husband and my best friend we're talking about!"

The woman was taken aback—she had never seen the man in front of her so angry. She had messed up big time, and redemption seemed far away. "You... YOU LEFT THAT MAN! HE WAS THE PERFECT HUSBAND—HE HAD A PHYSICALALLY FIT BODY, A DECENT JOB, AND ALL AROUND HE WAS A GOOD PERSON!" The man slams his fists on the table, and his veins are bulging from his arms and face, with the one beneath his left eye prominent.

Aki was sobbing uncontrollably, unable to respond in her current state. The man's secretary managed to calm him down with a cup of coffee, and his stoic demeanour returned. He snatched the journal from her and flipped to a specific page. "Take a look at this," he said, holding the book out towards Aki.

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Entry 19,

My second therapy session was a disaster, just like the first one. I almost got committed to an asylum. Lovely. And as if that wasn't enough, my doctor upped my medication dosage again. It's slightly helping, I guess—I can feel the effects, but just barely. Taking more pills would probably be overkill. Moving on... Today, I started a new job since I had to quit my old one.The gig isn't glamorous, it's a handyman job paying me just enough to get by. Nobody else is relying on me, so I splurged and bought myself some cup noodles. I haven't had them in a while, but the flavor is as good as the day I left it.

...

I wish I could somehow capture the way my face looked while I was weeping over a silly girl. It's quite humorous to think that an adult man had been reduced to tears in this situation.

...

It has been almost a month since she left, and I still can't shake the feeling of loss. I gave her love, my support, half of my office work earnings, and more - I didn't forget to get her something for her birthday, our anniversary, and even had potential baby names for when the time came. Despite all that, it wasn't enough...
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Aki stammers, her tears still streaming down her face. "He- He really remembers all of- those...?" The man says nothing but he too is struggling internally to maintain his composure. His secretary, ever the alert one, provides snacks for them both. He pulls at the wrapper of a chocolate toffee and stares into Aki's eyes as she continues to weep.

Aki was struck with shock when the man spoke of his self-harm: the bruises and cuts on his body. Her makeup, already smudged from earlier tears, couldn't take it. The man opened the book to a specific page and put it back down on the table.

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Entry 48,

This page won't be the most cheerful one as I must admit to having engaged in self-harm. Several cuts, both on my left and right arms, are visible evidence of this. While it was painful, it also brought me a certain measure of relief from stress. I don't advise anyone to follow in my footsteps, but if it means feeling this kind of release again...

Other than that, the days have continued their routine course. I love playing with stray cats during breaks from work; they're all little balls of fluff! People noticed how much I enjoyed interacting with them, and a customer was generous enough to give me cat food for them. I hope all those cats stay healthy, they remind me of my old pet who passed away while I was away on my honeymoon.

Haha. It's strange to think back and realize how devastated I was when I found out about my beloved cat; not even my best friend could console me then. Speaking of him, I wonder how he's doing now? His job as a boss must be pretty stressful.
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Aki's sobs echoed throughout the office. "When his cat died, he said you ignored his cries for help," the man uttered, barely managing to keep his voice from breaking. The office was filled with silence other than Aki's crying, and even the secretary struggled not to shed a tear.

The man flipped to the page at the center of the book and hastily reread it before quickly departing. On his way out, a single tear rolled down his cheek; this did not go unnoticed by his secretary, who followed her boss out of the room after catching sight of it. Aki continued to cry uncontrollably, but in spite of this, the secretary was drawn to read the content she had been trying so hard to avoid.

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Entry 90,