FLOWERS OF DESPAIR

Chapter 1

" Amisha I love you , please don't leave me ", i cried 

" Arush please understand i can't do this " , she said and tears streamed from her eyes too 

She turned around to leave but i pulled her towards me by her wrist and she fell on my chest  for a moment we were just lost in each other . I softly pressed my lips against her and she also reciprocate the kiss with the same gentleness but out of sudden she pushed me 

" Arush please let me go " , she said and left breaking my heart in million of pieces shredding my trust crushing my soul .

I woke up with a thud i touched my cheek i realized i was crying in my dream because i saw her again . She was my happiness she was my first love and she was my everything .

I saw you as a alluring rose but , you saw me as its thorns I saw you as a beautiful garden but , you saw me as a barren land I saw you as exquisite moon but , you saw me as its craters I consider you as my serendipity but , you consider me as misfortuneI sometimes regretted so much that i adored you so much I found tranquility in you But was that my mistake ?

 I was lost in her thoughts but my reverie was broken by my phone i sighed heavily 

" Arush  get ready fast today we are invited by shreya's parents " , exclaimed my mother before i could make some excuse she cut the line . I scratched back of my neck in irritation . I know i am going to marry shreya  but i don't love her i am just marrying her for the sake of my family and its really difficult for me to love her . She's not bad she's a really nice girl and she's like my friend .

i took the shower and wore some nice black shirt with white pants 

I reached at their house and greeted everyone with a smile 

" OH god bless you son please sit and take something " , shreya's mother said with a warm smile she is really fond of me she is a really nice lady and shreya's dad is also really nice infact shreya is amazing too . Shreya come downstairs she was wearing a pink suit and she smiled at me and i smiled back too 

she greeted my parents affectionately and sit beside me 

" Sooo how are you Mr serious " , she asked me and i chuckled at the nickname which she has given me 

" I am totally fine shreya , what about you " , i asked 

" I am good , and i guess you are fine too " , she said i looked at her for few seconds she knows about Amisha i mean she does know she was my first love but she doesn't know what has happened between us 

" I saw her in my dreams again " , i whisper softly and she looked at me with a smile and caress my shoulder in a caring way 

" Arush it is getting too much i guess you should consult some doctor " , she said but i don't   need some doctor i am totally fine 

" Maa can me and arjun spend some time " , she asked her parents and they agreed we come in their garden their garden was really beautiful  they have maintained it really well . 

" Shreya thank you " , i said with a smile and she looked at me with confusion 

" For what Arush " , she asked 

" For understanding me and my problem and i know it is really difficult for you to handle me when i talk about Amisha and i know she is my past but still deep down i love her and you understand this thing too " , i said and she passed a warm smile 

" Arush Amisha was your past and i know you love her selflessly and i know that i can't take her place as she is really special to you maybe after my marriage you will start loving me but not the way you loved her and i have no problem with it after all i understand you " , she said and again she made me feel relaxed that i have took right decision of marrying her 

" Hey lets go for a dinner tonight " , i said and she agreed merrily  

Shreya's pov 

Today i have to go on a dinner with Arush , umm it is fun talking to him sometimes . He is really different from others when i saw him for the first time i instantly started liking him and i am happy he consider me as his really good friend and i know a lil bit about his past and his ex gf i guess he loved her very much till now he can't forget her sometimes i felt jealous too when he talk so much about her and i wish that after our marriage atleast he could love me like he used to love her but that is not possible i know i brushed off my own thoughts and got ready in some nice black dress . I reached at the restaurant he was already there looking hot as always . We ordered our dinner 

" So have you done shopping for our engagement " , i asked  

" nope , i am thinking to got for shopping tomorrow . Have you done shopping "?, he asked and i nod my head in no 

" So lets go for the shopping together " , he said and i feel nice to go shopping with him as i will get to know him more 

 " yeah that's amazing we will go for shopping together tomorrow " , i exclaimed because i love shopping 

" Should i drop you at your house , as it is late and your driver must be in his house right now " , he said and i agreed 

" Arush can you tell me about why you broke up with Amisha " , i asked this question randomly because i want to know what had happened between them i could see him tensed at my question he gulped hard maybe he is just too uncomfortable with me to share all this 

" Shreya i will surely tell you all this but on right time maybe " , he said in a serious tone i nodd my head 

" Umm Arush i am really sorry for asking this like that because i was just curious and maybe lil insecure too " i said 

" I can understand Shreya but i am trynna best to forget her but i can't because i was just emotionally attached to her she was my peace , she was my passion , she was my everything shreya and i have loved her so much that i can't even describe " , he said and a lone tear escaped from his eyes i quickly wipe that 

" I am really sorry Arush i was being selfish " , i said 

" No Shreya it is not your fault every girl will expect her husband to love her whole heartly but i can't because i already love someone maybe i could start loving you after marriage but i can't love you the way i loved her .. But i will try my best to keep you happy , and i will try best to be a best husband " , he said and i blushed at this out of affection  he smiled though . I know i can't take her place in his life but i could be his friend , his companion and his supporter for the rest of his life 

As we reach my mansion he opened the door for me , and i stepped out 

" I also want to love you Shreya and i will try my level best to love you " , he said with a smile and i smiled back . He kissed my hair affectionately i guess now this thing is common for us . He bid adieu to me and left and i was here smiling like a maniac

For few days I and Arush were spending alot of time together we were getting to know each other .. His attitude is really changed towards me I am happy 

i hope you loved this update guys