Again

Chapter 20

Hi 👋

Thanks for getting this far into the story 😊 I know there are so many ST fics out there you could be reading and the fact you are reading mine, is still unbelievable to me! Thank you!

I don't normally put warnings on this fic, because generally speaking it's fluffy, funny, romantic, and sweet, right? However, this next chapter is why I started writing this story in the first place. It was always going to end up here. It's the reason the story is set when it is, and where the foreshadowing has been leading to. It was to explore something that has been on my mind since season 1 of the show. How that kind of trauma, gets brushed under the carpet, by some characters.
I don't want to spoiler this chapter or the next few too much, but it's a tough time, right from the first few lines.
I can however assure you that the eventual ending of this story will be happy (I wrote one fic with an unhappy ending and I don't think, I'll ever do that again, because I'm a sensitive little soul. I love that other people write things like that, its just not something that I want to write now. Not to these versions of these characters).
I'm going to write this in such a way that, when we eventually get back to the sweet stuff, you wouldn't have had to read these less happy chapters to carry on. This is just in support of all the readers that don't enjoy the sad stuff. I have days like that too :)

So the main warnings here are:
- Hospital setting
- Mention of someone passing away
- References to past trauma
- Vague references to very real-world events that happened in 2001
- Vague mention of a potential school incident
- Canon-typical violence
- Canon-typical horror
- Canon-typical threat

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Steve pushes the hospital tray of food away from him as his eyes fill with tears again.

"Anything?" He asks, his voice trembling to a concerned and solemn-looking Jenny. She shakes her head and closes her eyes regretfully.

"No, Steve. I'm sorry." She says sadly. She pushes the food tray back towards him, "Please, just something, alright? The kids will ask. Don't make me lie to them, ok?" He can hear the pleading in her voice, and the guilt washes over him. He had to keep it together and try not to be selfish about this. After all, this was his fault.

He picks up the spoon and moves the food around a little before selecting a spoonful to eat, the pads are stuck to his chest, and the wires shift uncomfortably as he sits up a little more in an attempt to be an adult about this. He just had to accept it and move on. For a while there, he had everything, but his luck had finally run out.

He looks up at Jenny momentarily, "Sorry," he says genuinely, but shame won't let him keep eye contact, "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home resting."

"Yeah, well, if the shoe was on the other foot, Steve, I know you'd be here too. Right by my side. You're not just the father of my children. You're one of my best friends. No way, I'd let you deal with this alone." She says, reaching forward and rubbing his arm.

Steve's lip trembles, "I'm so sorry!" He blurts out before covering his mouth to quieten the sobs that erupt from him. Uncontrollable, breathtaking, painful sobs until he's crying so hard he can't see.