S.M.A.R.T. (The Subject of Mind Altering Research and Testing)

Chapter Six

That night Michael's brain raced. The offer was appealing; it wasn't a desk job - but it still wasn't what he wanted. What would become of himself if their project didn't go as planned? I could die. I might end up changed for the worse. The idea of the offer still sounded intriguing to him, considering the incentive. Any price I name, knowledge beyond imagination, who wouldn't want that? I could do anything I wanted with that kind of money.

He needed sleep but his head kept turning in circles. Yes. I should go. It's the logical thing for me to do... It'll probably work, and then they'll be onto something else and I'll be able to go back to my normal life... With a lot more money than I had before. I could retire. ---- No. I'm a fool. This is only a test. I don't know what this drug has the potential to do to me. Call it what they will, it's still a drug, and a top secret experiment. Do I really want to get involved in this? And the people working on this... Who are they? I don't know any of them... All I know is I don't trust that man, even if he did save my life and offer me this job. It doesn't feel right. --- No. I'm just being paranoid. --- But either way, I can't lie to Jane. The thoughts continued back and forth until his eyes started to do the same. Open, closed. Open, closed...

Jane was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper when he went downstairs the next morning. Plates still covered in syrup from breakfast were strewn about. He had slept later than usual. Jane hadn't woken him. She had been letting him get much needed rest since he had gotten home. He was grateful for that, although he hated to admit he needed it.

She had gotten Sheila off to school already too, and she looked perfectly comfortable in her pyjamas, coffee in hand, newspaper spread out in front of her on the table. Michael decided not to bring the offer up right then. He hadn't even worked out how he was going to tell her. He had done missions he couldn't talk about before, but this felt different. It felt like a lie. Instead, he gave her a kiss good morning, ate a leftover waffle, and went upstairs to shower.

His thoughts were more clear as the hot water ran down his body, which nearly had gained all of its muscle back. He couldn't possibly ask Jane to stay there at home without him again so soon. He had to tell the General that he couldn't go. He wished he hadn't even been asked. She would lose her mind if she found out... I cannot accept this offer. He was glad he had come to his senses. He decided he wouldn't even bring it up to her at all. The money wouldn't matter to her, if she knew what this really was.

Jane was still reading when he went back downstairs. He kissed her on the head and cursed himself for ever considering the idea in the first place, and left to go back to his desk.

Michael spent most of the day at work wondering what time the General would arrive to get his answer. Michael was already packing to leave home, when he heard the chopper outside. Really, now? Did he have to wait till the last minute? If I'm lucky maybe he won't keep me here trying to persuade me too long. The General took another half hour to make his way to Michael's office. Michael watched the other cars leave the parking lot, cursing the man, and decided to get a head start on the next day's work. Michael was under his desk picking up a file he had dropped when the General came in, dressed in his usual tan outfit, minus the hat today. Michael was startled and banged his head on the bottom of the desk.

"You're going to want to take care of that thing if we intend to see any results at all," The General mocked.

Michael rubbed his head to feel for blood, but luckily only felt a goose egg. "I like to think I'm durable, there wouldn't have been anything to worry about."

"Wouldn't have?" The General replied. "So it looks like you've made a decision then."

"Yes, I have. I gave it a lot of thought, and as much as I would love to get away from banging my head against this desk, I can't do it by those terms. I would need to discuss it with my wife, and she would want to know all about this drug before I took it, and I don't even have anything to tell her about it. No offence, but I don't even know you. What if it doesn't work and I come out different, or unfit for duty? Also, I can't leave my wife again so soon. It'd be one thing if it were for small missions, but this isn't."