Heart hits the floor | yoonkook ff

Chapter 2: The brooding

The moment Jungkook arrived at his room, bag forgotten somewhere in the way, he couldn't do anything to stop the tears from running down his face; back pressed to the door, he slowly slipped down to sit on the floor.

Images of what had happened flashed in his head, over and over, making it hard to breathe, hard to stop crying, hard for the anxiety to vanish.

The stranger on his knees looking at him, Jungkook running away, the boy still on his knees some steps away from the parking lot stairs, seen from Jungkook's rearview mirror.

Jungkook almost coming back.

But he fled the scene, hands shaking, mind running wild, heart racing. Now in his room, with a fake illusion of safety, he finally gave himself a chance to think properly, to feel entirely; an abyss of guilt and regret filled his chest, and he was afraid tears would flood out again, but he composed himself, letting big chunks of air in and then out.

The moment after, when overthinking was threatening to break him, he did the first thing that came to mind.

He called Jimin.

His friend was surely free at the time, considering he missed their first day at school, and was possibly the only person he thought could help in this situation, (truth is, Jungkook was afraid to tell his parents what just happened, as he was sure they would scold him for leaving the other boy like that); also, Jimin would feel totally guilty for leaving him on his own today.

His friend picked at the third ring, voice loud and with a tinge of said guilt, "Kookie! Hey, I'm sorry for today, I swear I set an alarm but it didn't..."

"I found him."

The other voice paused for a moment, picking up the serious tone of his younger friend. "What? Who did you f-"

"My soulmate, I... I found my soulmate," his voice cracked a little.

Jimin kept silence for what felt an eternity, Jungkook started to worry, but then an excited shriek came through the phone.

"You found him?! Oh, my God, Kookie, that's amazing!" his friend laughed. "What's his name? What is he like? Oh gosh, and I missed all of it, dammit! If just the stupid alarm had..."

Jungkook winced guiltily as if his friend could see him, then decided to stand up and sit on his bed. "I... I don't know."

Jimin stopped talking, confused. "What do you mean? You didn't ask his name?"

"Uhm," Jungkook laid down, covering his eyes with his arm, "I didn't- I ran away, I... panicked and-"

"You what?!" the younger had to take his phone away from his ear. "You found your soulmate and ran away? Did you say something at least?"

Jungkook bit his lip, not answering.

Jimin sighed heavily. "Kookie, you have to find him, you know what happens next, how could you-"

"I don't even know the guy, he is a total stranger!"

"He's your soulmate, you need to be with him! What if you don't see him in days, you know in how much pain you're going to be? Subs are the ones who need their soulmate the most the first days after meeting."

Jungkook sat at that, realization hitting him like a punch in the stomach.

"I'm not the sub," he whispered.

"Wha-"

"I didn't fall to my knees, he... he did."

Another silence, this time longer. "Are you saying...," a pause, "you are a dom?"

The incredulity in Jimin's voice should have offended the younger, but his own astonishment didn't let him catch it. The moment played again in his head; all this time, Jungkook thought he would, obviously and without a doubt, be the sub of his relationship, the one that seems weaker, the one who feels and needs the most.

But he wasn't.

"This is all just so wrong," he laid again, shaking his head unconsciously.

Jimin hummed on the other side of the line, incredulity still in his tone, but he recovered quickly. "That's just way worst, Kookie, how could you do that to him?" his friend asked sincerely. He was trying to make Jungkook feel guilty and it was working.

"Tomorrow, once our classes are over, we're going on a campus tour to see if we can find him."

The younger kept quiet, panic raising again in his chest.

"Jungkook..." a threat in Jimin's voice.

"Yeah, okay," a loud sigh. "I guess you're right, I need to-"

"Yes, you need to find your other half, dumbass, and Y won't let you run away this time."

The boy winced again, an increasing anxiousness crawling under his skin.

"Kookie, everything will be fine," Jimin voiced softly, "that boy is very lucky to have you as his soulmate."

Jungkook scoffed. "You sound like my mom."

"Because your mom and I know you, and know how true it is. So, relax, do your homework, watch a movie or something, forget about it for now. Tomorrow will be better, okay?"

Jungkook sighed but let himself smile for the first time since the whole thing happened; he nodded while mumbling a yeah, alright, before saying goodbye to his friend and hanging up.

A tense silence filled the room, just broken by Jungkook's continuous sighs, still trying to process everything that happened that day.

He uncovered his eyes, staring at the ceiling, letting his mind go through the encounter for the hundredth time. Jungkook tried not to admit how fresh the image of the blond still was in his head. How he had looked at him with such a foreign feeling in his eyes, which brought goosebumps down Jungkook's body.

He'd always had problems connecting with people. After coming out to his parents and to himself, Jungkook had felt like things just became tougher and harder in his life. His anxiety kept telling him to shut up, stay still, don't draw too much attention for everything to be easier, peaceful and just calm. This just kept people apart, not understanding how big of a mess Jungkook's mind and heart were at the moment. So Jungkook alienated himself, trying to desperately find a way to feel at ease on his own.

But the constant reminder of another person being out there somewhere, maybe even looking for him, and who was a fundamental part to that calmness and peace he so much wanted, kept Jungkook on edge all the time. He'd worked so hard to maintain a steady rhythm of life, so controlled by his limited self-esteem and insecurities, that the fact that someone could come any second and change everything made him fill with anguish.

The boy was afraid to be judged; he was afraid that his inhibitions could build a wall so thick, so tall, that not even his soulmate could get through it.

Or that he wouldn't even want to try.

So Jungkook continued his day, still dazed, still terrified, replying with just an 'it was okay' when his parents asked him about school at dinner. Thoughts scattered and mind unfocused, repeating to himself over and over that everything will be okay, everything will be okay, everything will be okay.

His soulmate had to be a nice person, right? He had to love him no matter what, right?

His soulmate had to try...

Right?

Author's notes: Chapter 2 is up! More introduction about the world and soulmate system, and also the introduction of JK's bestie Jimin!! Thank you for reading, see ya next Monday!