nyctophilia

chapter 1

MADDIE

As the blaring of my alarm clock echoes of the decorated walls of my room, I begin to regain consciousness after a merely 3 hours spent sleeping after having a panic attack caused by the idea of tomorrow. Which happened to have come faster than expected as tomorrow has turned into today.
    The first day of school at North Shore or the government name, Northern Shore High. I was starting halfway through the year as a junior since I essentially had to get pulled out my previous school via helicopter and a whole medical team and i would even say government officials. My experience in my previous school couldn't be more than undesirable. I was lied to by adults saying high school will be the best years of my lives only for it to live permanent marks on my mental state for the rest of my life.
    I laid in bed for a solid 10 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong before finally getting up and getting ready. I decided the night before to start the day on a positive note and do some yoga before starting on anything else but those plans got quickly scrapped in the morning when my motivation was at the lowest possible level.
    I got up from my bed leaving it the exact way it was with piles of tissues and tear drenched pillowcases as I never gave them time to dry before having to wake up. I play some music and put on an outfit, nothing special but not too boring. I decided to play it safe.
     The way my mind works is peculiar. In my mind, I have to wear a very basic outfit that i have gone over at least 50 times in my head to finally conclude that there isn't a thing that can get made fun of. When i arrive at school, I'll made a mental note of the kind of fashion that is common in North Shore. With this way of thinking, I am certain i won't get teased for the things i'm wearing.
    The outfit I settled on is a pair of black flared jeans with a white tank top which is then finished off with a simple black zip up and simple, black converse. I wanted to still show off a little bit of what I have to offer just in case North Shore has become a fashion school and everyone here wears the most unique and eccentric items of clothing possible, which i highly doubt. My choice of clothes is just basic enough for no one to really pay attention but for no one to believe I'm a boring bitch with no taste.
   I do some light makeup to cover up the redness of my eyes and a bit of the puffiness and putting on some strip lashes to accentuate my hazel eyes which I get from my mums emerald green eyes and my dads caramel brown eyes doing some crazy gymnastics across the double helix of my DNA to create my hazel eyes. Considering the events of last night, I still looked at least... presentable. My pouty lips and nose with the smallest bump on it which I have grown to love deeply. My eyebrows had been done the weekend prior so they were looking as perfect as they come. I take my hair out of a loose bun which i pray doesn't leave kinks in my hair and it's as if God was looking down on me this morning as not a single kink or indent has been left in my hair. My ever so slightly wavy dark brown hair which compliments my tanned but also pale skin, falls just about in the middle of my torso. I brush it and i stand up to take a look at myself in the mirror.

"You got this" I say to myself, sighing, before picking up my things, going to brush my teeth and leaving.

-•-

I've skipped breakfast again and I start to really regret it the second I see the school emerging behind the trees. The mixture of anxiety and an empty stomach makes my insides sound like a rave.
   We enter the car park where I face to look at my older brother who will be dropping be off most days except on those lucky days where my parents aren't busy with work right as they wake up all the way up to when they go to sleep. My parents try their hardest to be involved with my life and I know they love me but they are so overwhelmed with work all the time I'm lucky to even have more than a singular breakfast conversation.

"You ready little one?" My brother, Robbie, asks with a small smile on his face after parking the car into possibly the smallest parking spot possible.

I sigh before answering, "As ready as I can possibly can be at the moment" I smile a small smile back.

"You text me if anyone's bothering you again, OK? I'm not letting this be a repeat of your last school." He says sternly

My brothers one of those overprotective cliche  older brother especially after finding about the things I was dealing with in my old school. It can get annoying sometimes but I couldn't be more grateful for a human being to be in my life.

"Alright, I'm going in now. And don't worry, your numbers on speed dial after you forced me to do that"

He smiles as I exit the car and I'm hit in the face with the smell of a fresh start and the underlying scent of what smells like.. cigarettes?