At Her Bedside

Not So Terrible

Minutes or decades may have passed, Harry didn't know as the sheer force of the meaning behind Hermione's yell almost knocked him flat on his behind. He chanced a look at her only to see pure fury and no regret on her face. He got to thinking, would it be such a terrible thing to be married to her?

"You're being an idiot, Harry," she told him which broke him from his thoughts momentarily.

He was set on delivering a response but stopped at the last second when he finally noticed her. It was as if he was seeing for the first time all over again. Her question rang through his mind as his eyes roved over her face, seeing her in a light that he never thought to use before. Sure he had looked at Cho in this same light before, but this was different. This was Hermione, his best friend, who apparently became the most beautiful woman in the world in a matter of seconds. Mere words had flipped a switch in his mind and he didn't think he could ever reverse course, not that he wanted to.

"Harry," she once again pulled him from his thoughts,"Nothing you say or do will ever convince me to leave you."

He was instantly reminded of why they were fighting in the first place at this, and grew annoyed yet again. Regardless of how she looked now, he knew that it would never be worth it to ever consider her like he did Cho. It was far too risky. The main problem, however, was that the bloody girl wouldn't listen to him. No matter, he thought, he was done arguing.

"Then I guess I won't give you a choice."

Hermione watched him confusedly at his statement before fear settled in once more in her heart. She tried to convince herself that he wouldn't be nearly as callous as to simply walk out of her life, but it seemed that her hopes were going to be dashed.

Harry watched her for a moment longer and resolved to follow through with his plan. If she wasn't willing to walk out of his life, then he would walk out of hers. This was the only way to keep her safe, the only way to ensure she lived.

Hermione's heart thumped against her chest and rose steadily in its beating when Harry turned to leave. She made to reach out for him only to barely miss his arm as he briskly walked to the exit of the room. As if hit by a silencing charm, the witch found that she couldn't yell or call for him to come back because her mind refused to believe this was happening.

Each step felt as if he was trudging through mud, but Harry keep going to eventually reach the exit of the hospital wing. One more step and he would cross the threshold, ending his and Hermione's friendship for good. He lifted his foot and made to step forward but stopped at the last second. His mind forced him to replay the memories he shared with Hermione as he tried his best to take the final step. If he did this, he wouldn't have those wonderful late night talks anymore, those Hermione bear hugs that were always full of warmth, and those comforting smiles she wore whenever he was hurt. He gritted his teeth, still frozen at the entrance, as he worked to take that one final step. All he had to do was plant his foot and it would be over. Everything would be over.

Hot tears streamed down his face once more as he considered his best friend. She asked him if it would be such a terrible thing to be married to her and, while he didn't know the answer in that moment, he knew it now. Hermione never cared for his fame, she only cared for Harry. She saw him in ways no one else could and helped him in every way she could. She was willing to set a Professor on fire for him, risk her life trying to find information on the basilisk, then do it once more to save Sirius with him, and then support him in fourth year. He was too caught up in his own world to see her as she truly was but that all changed with one question. It would be bloody perfect to be married to a girl who was as committed to his happiness as she was, who made him feel as loved as she did.

"Damn it all to hell," Harry whispered out loud before planting his foot, and turning straight back to Hermione.

He wasted no time in walking over to her and once more kneeling before her, almost worshipping her. "I can't leave," he sorrowfully told her.