Yoongi was sitting on his couch staring blankly at that blade which laid beside him on the couch. He kept staring at it until he grabbed it and brought it in front of right eye. He wanted to stab it it right in but he didn't, instead he slowly cuts down his skin from above his brow to till down his eye. It hurts so much yet it seems like Yoongi has became addicted ti the feeling of pain.
He threw the bloody blade on the floor and leans against the couch letting the blood flow down his eye.
No matter how much blood you bleed Yoongi...
You will never die!
Yoongi scoffs and lays down on the couch. Blood now starting dropping on his off white couch but he didn't care less about it and let it get dirty by his blood.
"Fuck you..." Yoongi whispers to his voices in the head with a smile before closing his eyes.
"I don't know your name..."
"I don't know your... name..." And he fell into the deep slumber of sleep. The sleep he cannot wake up from anymore. The sleep he will always be in. The sleep where he is forever lost and cannot be found now.
The sleep he was suffering to have was finally here.
He can sleep forever now.
A/N: I know it's a weird and sudden ending that certainly no one would expect. The reason I ended it so soon and suddenly was because this story was itself hurting me as well, I am still not very good in expressing the feelings in words but honestly whenever I wrote this I was in physical pain that I cannot describe.
Yoongi is my bias has taught me many things in my life, I remember ugly crying because of his music, whenever I listen to them, I cry even before knowing the lyrics because there is something Yoongi is really good in.
Expressing his feelings in words.
The way he raps and sings is so painful that it's already enough to make you cry rivers. The first time I ugly cried was when I understood and read the lyrics of 'First Love'. Yoongi's first love was piano. My first love was also piano. Let me start this very clearly.
*You guys can skip if you want, the story ends here so those who wanna read my feelings towards Yoongi can stay and read and those who don't can freely quit, thank you for your support ,<3*
It was exactly 18 Feb 2019, Hobi's birthday when I became an Army. Of course. as someone who became fan of BTS on 18 Feb, Hobi was automatically my bias and I really adored him, I remember at that time, I didn't held any special feelings for Yoongi like I did for others, of course, its very wrong of me and I wasn't even properly considered an Army if I didn't liked Yoongi.
I always thought he was rude and really savage, which I disliked. I was unable to understand why would people like Yoongi?! Like what's so special about him?? That's when Dynamite era started and Yoongi went under shoulder surgery. The emptiness of one person in performances started bothering me so much.
I started missing Yoongi so much it was unbearable. I was shocked and confused as well. How can I miss someone so much who I didn't liked at all. And then Yoongi came live for the first time after his surgery, he had a cast wrapped around his arm and he was live. I remember I was on Instagram when I heard the news that he is live and I instantly opened Vlive to see him live.
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He was all good, a little pale but happy to be live after so long, he was talking and I couldn't understand anything but at the very sight of him, I started ugly crying so hard that my siblings ran in to check on me. That's when I realized how much I actually loved him.
Ever since then my heart kept attracting towards Yoongi until finally on Permission To Dance era, he was officially my bias and Hoseok was now my bias wrecker along with Joon. This journey included many painful memories of how miserable I was without him but it was a journey to someone my heart truly belonged to.
Of course, I admire every member and love them but every since understanding Yoongi's struggles and pain, I have came to understand that the one who I truly loved and the one who shared same grieves as me is none other than Min Yoongi himself.
Listening to his music, understanding his music I have came to realize just how much he has struggled and gone through. His accident which I tried to explain in my own words and many other struggles and problems are something that I am obviously unaware of.
Min Yoongi, I truly admire you, you are so brave and trust me there were some parts where I felt I might fall apart but you were the only one to help me stand up.
Snooze was such an amazing emotional support to me with such beautiful lyrics and melody.
Yoongi has never let us down and honestly as much as I would miss him as Agust D, I am happy he is finally letting go of his that one self he used to express his grief, pain and anger. That one self who was in pain. I am so happy that Yoongi has decided to let go of his past and wants to focus more on his future and his happiness rather than thinking back on the memories of his past which only contains pain and grief.
Yoongi has finally let go of his pained self Agust D. He has finally let go of his past.
So should we.
Thank you so much for reading to so far if you actually did and for showing this short book i wrote to express the grief Yoongi might have felt in his past.
