Zero Worship: Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective #6

Chapter 8 - 488-8888

.././.\\

Zandra scans the street for the source of the voice. She doesn't see anyone.

It's like I heard a ghost. Everyone else heard that, too, right?

Bexley puts that thought to bed. She nudges Zandra and points in the direction of a young man walking quickly toward them. He steps lightly, his shoes barely making a sound, and he wears a mask and a baseball hat tipped down to cover his eyes.

It's a surgical mask. It keeps the germs out, or in. I forget.

"Fuck you doing to my car?" the masked man says, picking up the pace after repeating himself. "Fuck you doing?"

Bexley runs first. Then Chad. Zandra can't, so she stays put.

I guess they've earned running away today.

Time to lay down the bullshit. Let's make this masked pizza delivery guy stick around and talk. Can I get him to take the mask off?

"Thank goodness you're here, child," Zandra says, clasping her hands together over her sternum. "Do you have a phone?"

Now at the edge of the car, the masked man offers a better look at what he's wearing. The name embroidered on the hat is from a pizza chain in town. The chain is renowned for its cheap prices and not much else. A delivery bag draped over his shoulder shows the same name.

Shoes are athletic, worn in, and off-brand. This is someone working for tips. Shitty arch support from that brand, though. He's going to get plantar fasciitis if he can't get a better pair. No limp in his walk, though, so he's still good on that front for now.

"Yeah, I've got a phone. So?" the masked man says.

He doesn't seem to recognize me. Good. Not everyone does.

"I thought maybe you'd want to call your boss and tell them you've been robbed," Zandra says. She dabs at her forehead with the sleeve of her purple gown and tries her best to sound 30 years older. "Goodness, child, I nearly had a heart attack trying to shoo away those thieves."

The masked man cocks his head. "Oh, wow. Really?"

Zandra sounds exasperated. "I've had it up to here with the crime lately. Have you heard the news? The whole town is losing its mind. I've lived in Stevens Point a long time, and I've never seen it this bad. So when I was out for my walk and I saw those two breaking into your car, I had to do something."

The masked man removes the delivery bag from his shoulder and sets it onto the hood of the car.

"Are you OK?" the masked man says.

"Oh, I'll be fine, child," Zandra says. "You must deal with this a lot. Is that why you wear the mask? For protection or something?"

"This thing? Yeah, but it's from germs. I visit a lot of houses. I'm one of those people who can't get sick, if you know what I mean," the masked man says.

Zandra steals a glimpse at the inside of the car.

If that's true, shouldn't there be a box of masks in there? Or hand sanitizer? Because there isn't, at least not that I can see. Maybe he keeps them in the glove compartment? No, that doesn't make sense.

Also, does he really need to wear that mask outside? Doesn't being outside dissipate any germs in the air?

"Can't be too safe. I bet you buy those masks in bulk, don't you?" Zandra says.