Zero Worship: Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective #6

Chapter 25 - ...Like a Fire

.././.\\.\//.///\...//>>>

Luis picks himself up off the driveway. A damp stamp on the asphalt outlines where he rolled out of the van.

Pixie screams. "Luis!"

Luis flops back down onto the driveway. At the front door, Pixie pushes past Zandra and Bexley in a sprint toward the van.

"No. Stay back," Luis says between labored breaths. Sweat pours off his face. Pixie stops in the front yard, gun covering her mouth as she gasps in horror.

I wouldn't recommend that, Pixie. By the way, that's a lot of sweat, Luis.

Zandra watches for movement in the van. The open sliding door offers a good view inside, except for the spot the man in the van usually sits.

No movement anywhere in the van.

Bexley puts Zandra between her and the van, sneaking peeks at the unfolding drama from the sides of the purple gown. Chad remains oblivious to his surroundings in Ray's car.

"I...I don't want...to get blood...on you," Luis says to Pixie from the asphalt. He rolls so he can get a grip on his side.

Zandra keeps an eye on the van. Still no movement.

Fighting isn't like the movies. There aren't these long, drawn out battles. It takes a lot of exertion, and it's over quickly. It's like shoving a 60-minute workout into 60 seconds. Lots of twists and contortions. Good time to have a hernia.

"Is the driver still alive?" Zandra says to Luis from the front door.

I'm not getting any closer to the van than this.

Luis swallows and shakes his head.

Then why'd Luis come out through the sliding door?

Bexley picks up on this, too. She leans into Zandra's ear from behind and says in a whisper, "This doesn't feel right."

Zandra nods.

I bet that isn't Luis's blood on Luis.

"What about the other one?" Zandra says, hoping to finally put a name to the man in the van.

Luis shakes his head again.

"Oh, thank god. It's over," Pixie says. She kneels on the lawn and tries to rein in the heaving in her chest.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Zandra loses face. She throws her hands up in the air and lets them fall to her sides with a slap. Bexley dodges the exasperation with a hop to the side.

"Shhhit," Zandra says just loud enough for everyone else to hear.

"Huh-what?" Luis says. He scoots himself up against the side of the van.

No man in the van means no one to sell the score from the Curd Queen to. I am fucked. Fucked. All this running around, all this bullshit, was for nothing. The next contraction is going to be me filling out an application at a gas station. I am never leaving Stevens Point. Fuck me. Fuck. Me.

Not that I'd expect you to know any of that, Luis, but, sincerely, fuck you. You were supposed to come to a stalemate with the man in the van about who the father was, and then come here together. That meant you both arrived at the same time. Fewer variables to sort through.

Pixie can't take it anymore. She rushes over to Luis and cradles him in a hug.

"It's mine," Luis says.