Behind The Limelight

12: Deja Vu

"Jesus, I don't think I can do this," Ashton muttered, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"Ash," Ryker sighed. "You're an actor, for fuck's sake. It's not really that big of a deal, just pretend that I'm a...hot chick or something."

"Yeah, right, easier said than done," Ashton scoffed. "But fine."

"Good. It's your line."

Ashton cleared his throat, looking at the script again to read the dialogue that he was supposed to say.

"How can you be in love with me? We've never been anything more than friends," Ashton read out, his tone monotonous as he was not even looking at the other man.

"Come on, Ash. You can do better than this," Ryker said, pressing his lips in a thin line. Ashton groaned, but nodded. He turned towards Ryker, looking him right into his eyes as he gave it another shot.

"How can you be in love with me?" Ashton whispered. "We've never... we've never been anything more than friends."

"I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. I know you see me as nothing more than a friend but I can't keep this to myself any longer," Ryker spoke. His expression serious with a clear look of pain on it.

Damn, he's a good actor, Ashton thought.

"But why?" Ashton asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"It's everything about you," Ryker answered, a soft smile on his lips. "Every single thing about you drives me crazy. You're all I think about no matter the time of the day or night. You're... you're the one for me."

Ashton gulped. Ryker was staring at him so intensly that for a moment he forgot that they were acting. He glanced down at the script on his lap before looking back up at Ryker. Ryker's gaze hadn't moved from Ashton's eyes, making him almost freeze for a second.

"I can't do this," Ashton whispered. "You know that I love you. But only as a friend. I'm with somebody else and I... he's the one I'm in love with."

Ryker frowned, closing his eyes shut as he took in a deep breath. He kept his hand on top of Ashton's, holding it firmly before looking at him once again, this time with determination.

"I know," Ryker's voice was gentle. "I know you love someone else. But even if you're never mine... I'll keep on loving you because I cannot imagine a world without you. Be it just as your friend."

"And you'd be okay with that? Okay with seeing me be with someone else for the rest of your life?" Ashton questioned. "That's not fair to you."

His hand was burning from Ryker's touch, he wanted to move it away, but he also didn't. He reminded himself that they were just acting. They were in the role. That's it.

"I'm not going to lie and say that I'll be completely okay with that, but as long as he treats you right and you are happy... I'm going to be fine," Ryker said. "That's all I care about. Your happiness."

Ashton looked down at the script again, even though it was hard to turn his eyes away from Ryker. The emotions in his voice and his face felt so goddamn real that Ashton was having a hard time pretending that they were just rehearsing.

Ashton bit his lower lip, not meeting Ryker's gaze again as he pulled his hand away from his hold and shifted back.

"So, uh, that was it," Ashton spoke. "You did good. You don't need to rehearse more."

"Right," Ryker nodded. "You really think so?"

"Yeah," Ashton answered. "You've got this scene down. It felt very, uh, realistic."