Brighter Than the Stars

Nicole - He Deserved It

I hadn't meant to eavesdrop.

Really, I hadn't. But when I'd heard raised voices from outside Leo's room, I'd stopped. I didn't want to go in there and interrupt whatever was happening, because that would be awkward, but then I'd caught a few words. And then I hadn't walked away; even though I should have.

"You're letting it hold you back! You've become lazy and selfish–and you use that eye as an excuse. I don't care what you say, you know I'm right and enough is enough! Look at your friend James–Captain of the Guard, training all the time. When was the last time you picked up a sword, Leo? When?" I peeked through the crack in the door, guilt worming its way through my stomach, where Leo and his dad stood in the center, both tense.

"It's not an excuse," Leo said. "No, I'm not as good with a sword as I used to be, and I know I'd probably lose on a real battlefield, but I genuinely can't see to my right at all. I don't want to put myself in a situation where that could hurt me. Besides that, I just don't like fighting; I never wanted to, and I still don't now. I've trained, okay? I've worked and I've got my balance back for the most part, and I'm doing the things I like to do again. The things I like to do. I don't want to fight."

His dad shook his head. "You're being ridiculous. Grow up."

"I have! I have grown up, and I know what I like and don't like! I don't want to be Captain or even in the Guard, Dad–maybe that's what you want, but I don't. And I'm not going to pursue it. I'm sorry, but that's just not what I want to do."

"It's for honour, Leo! Do you not understand? I've served because it's the right thing to do, because it brings honour to our family! To continue that tradition would probably be the best decision you ever made in your life–and here you are, throwing it away. You have talent with a sword, and you could be trained to be better. Stop this moping."

"I'm not moping; I just don't want what you do! James–Nicole–" I tensed when he said my name, sure I had been caught. Which was another reminder to leave. "--both fantastic fighters, good at what they do, and happy with it. You, too. And that's great for you...but that's not what I want. I don't want to have to fight with you about this, either; why do I have to fit your mold? I'm working on the Council–I'm happy with that. Please, just let me be happy with that."

His dad shook his head in disgust again. "I just hope you'll realise what a huge mistake you're making. Ridiculous boy."

He stormed towards the door, and I slipped out of sight just before he came through. He headed off down the hallway, fuming, and I watched him go. A moment later, I headed to Leo's door, softly pushing it the rest of the way open. Leo looked up when I came in, his face tear-streaked.

I sat next to him on his bed and wrapped my arms around him, my head against his shoulder, and he dropped his head to mine. "You heard, then?" he asked, his voice thick and choked with tears. "God, I'm so stupid, Nicole."

"You're not stupid. Not at all. You don't have to pick up a sword to be great, Leo. And I happen to like you better as you are. Just because it's something that your dad wants and loves doesn't mean you have to want and love it, too. You're allowed to be your own person, you know. Even if you have to make a few people mad to do it."

"I just...don't want to disappoint him, I guess, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I want him to be proud of me–and yet I'm doing the exact opposite of everything he wants. Now this'll start something between my parents, and...I don't know. I just don't know." He paused for a second before he added, "My parents usually don't fight. Almost never. And they never really raised their voice when they did. But this time...this time it's going to be my fault."