yours truly, beast.

ⅵ

dear beauty,

you make me feel vulnerable, in all sorts of ways. physically, i feel weak. emotionally, everything is in disarray. i've come to accept that you're my weakness. i hate that thought, just as i thought i would— my fear of vulnerability overshadows the comfort you bring me. i still sometimes wish it wasn't like this. i feel the sickly urge to completely get rid of anybody who has even the slightest bit of insight into my personal life. i don't think i need to tell you what i mean by getting rid of you for good.

i wish you weren't here— you know too much. can you leave? can you please leave? it physically hurts. you said you didn't want to hurt me. you now know how you can stop that. i don't want to accept you. i'm afraid the days which you scare me outnumber the days where you bring me happiness. i won't continue any further— i'm too tired to think anymore. i hope you can understand what i'm trying to say. there was a time when you said you'd fulfil all my needs. please, stay true to your word.

yours truly,

beast.