Wanna be Yours ! Criminal Minds Imagines

✰ Hotch ✰

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Aaron Hotch, your secret boyfriend and boss.

It began two years into you working as a profiler. It all started with a drunken hookup after your team left you and Hotch at the bar. Two years into hiding was difficult and annoying. Constantly worried about each other, having to hide moments together, and having to Lie about basically everything.

You had been reaching your breaking point. You loved Hotch a lot, more than you would ever admit, but you were tired from all the hiding. It had been too much for you, too tiring, too hard, and too annoying. You didn't want to break up with him, but you didn't want your relationship to suffer anymore.

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The day was boring, composed of writing and reading case files. Your thoughts were only about your relationship with Hotch mixed with whatever file you were reading. You looked up to if Hotch was in his office and if anybody was around. He was, and the others were busy with their own stuff, which meant the coast was clear.

You quickly made your way to his office and knocked. Even before he could fully respond, you walked in. The others were still busy, but you closed the blinds a little just to be safe.

"Y/n? Don't you realize that you shouldn't be in here when the others can see? We've talked about this before, so you need to have a good reason as to why you're in here, closing my blinds. " 

You sat down with your heart beating quicker each second more you were there. It felt like everyone's attention was on you just for even being in there. " Ok, don't worry, I just wanna talk. I mean, We really need to talk about us."

"Oh, What about us?"

" Look, I don't wanna break up." You paused to make sure your voice didn't tremble like your lips were.  " It's-it's just that I don't think I can do any more of this pretending. I mean, Aren't you tired of it too? "

Your brain as profiler made you over analyze Hotch's behavior.  Although it didnt need to take a profiler to see his tense posture and hand tightly gripping the pen to understand just how nervous he was. " Of course I am, y/n, but we've talked about this. You know Strauss won't allow me to be your boss and boyfriend. "

You dropped yourself into the chair infront of his desk, leaning your body forward. " I know! I get why, but we've been doing this for two years. Don't you think that's been enough time to hide us? "

Again you paused because not only was your voice shaking, but so was your hands. You cleared your throat to get rid of the knot building up. " Two years is enough, but you have to understand just how risky us being together already is."

He was right, you couldn't argue with him because you knew he was right.

Just because you understand doesn't mean you felt good about it. You glanced out the blinds to see your friend barely coming in which meant your time was up.

" Aaron, you know I love you so much. I dont want to give up on us, but maybe we need to stop and think about all this for a few days. I love you, I really do, so please understand why I'm doing this."

The words you never wanted to say.

It hurt, hurt more than anything else. Especially Having to hide your heartbreak with a fake smile as you left Hotchs office.

"Y/n, come back here."

You could feel his emotions in his voice, the same ones you were trying to hide. You shook your head without even taking a glance at him. He reached out a hand trying to stop you, but having even his fingertips touch your arm made you want to sob.

Your pace quickened down the stairs, trying to keep up your happy facade. He couldn't chase after you, not with the others back and not with the rush of emotions he was having.

The others were distracted in their conversation, so they only saw you walking towards them from the bottom of the staircase.

Hotch watched you join the group acting cheerful, as if the last few minutes didn't happen.  He watched you smile with the others as if both of your hearts werent just broken.

He stared at you knowing he had lost one of the greatest things in his life.

He watched angry with how easily he had lost you all because he wanted to keep you a secret.

A/N : I wrote this before the JJ one and now im realizing how i just copied and pasted them 🥸

Eat something and drink water!